Let it be me
by LauraAnne82
Summary: This has taken me almost two years to write and I am still trying to improve it! LOL! It does have twilight characters in the story, but mainly its about my O/C characters Lucie Hargreaves and Patrick Fitzgerald. By the way Patrick is a vampire it's set in England Poole in Dorset, see my profile for more details and I'll leave the judgement up to you. I love my story be nice, XX
1. Pre-face After happliy ever after

**After happily ever after**

**Bella's story**

We won our battle against the Volturi eight years ago and our existence has quietened down. I have been to places I would never have dreamed and shared them with the love of my existence.

Our beautiful daughter, Renesmee is eight years old and is nearly an adult and I cannot believe my baby is so grown up, every day she makes me proud and so honoured to be her mother.

Nessie and Jake plan to marry next July and they have a beautiful home on the reservation, although I have not seen the house. I know through the images Nessie shows me when she comes to the cottage.

Jacob hasn't changed much and I could not think of anybody I would rather have as a son-in law, I remember what he told me about imprinting when I was human. That when you find the one every thing stops and it is as easy as breathing, I can see that when he looks into my daughters eyes and I know he will make her happy.

The rest of my family have moved on, Emmett and Rosalie are living separately from the rest of us.

Esme and Carlisle have moved on too. Esme keeps finding little projects to renovate; they say that once you get the renovation bug you never loose it.

Alice and Jasper are travelling with Peter and Charlotte, they never lost touch after the battle to save Renesmee and agreed to go travelling, they'll be back soon I'm sure with tales of their adventures, I can't wait to see Alice again!

Now on to me. Now that Nessie has left home, I applied and got into Dartmouth again and the library is now the proud owners of the new Cullen wing after a little bribery from Edward!

To this day, Edward still claims to have nothing to do with this, although knowing my husband, I know different

I got my degree in English literature and used it to write a novel of my own, it is not finished though, Edward has seen to that, but hey, I'm not complaining! I have all the time in the world, quite literally.

Around three years ago, Edward started work on a self- help book for vampires who start relationships with humans. I thought this was a good idea and helped with the content in the hope it would help another vampire in Edwards' position seven years ago. We only published a few and gave them to our closest friends as a token of gratitude for the support they gave us when we had to fight for Nessie.

Alice and Jasper came back last week to with some interesting and slightly disturbing news. She told she had visions of an unknown couple in Europe a human/ vampire pairing.

That night, Edward, and I argued, he wanted to contact Carlisle and go searching for this couple, I told him he was being irrational, I mean how could we know that it wasn't a trick, that the volturi were not involved. Alice had another vision of Carlisle's friends in Ireland, Siobhan, Maggie, and Liam; she said that somehow, they were involved. She told us that the vampire was connected to them and was living in the U.K; I suppose this was not so bad, if he/she knew Carlisle I could cope with that. I had never met an English vampire other than Alistair and he turned out to be a total freak show!

Knowing what we do, we had to act fast, Edward was frantic, and worrying over what the vampire would do, how he/she would cope with their thirst and more importantly what they knew about us, we could not afford a repeat of history, we have gone too far to digress. Edward contacted Carlisle for advice and they have gone in search of this couple to warn them of the dangers they face by choosing to be together. I hope they come back soon I miss Edward so much. Esme and the others returned to Forks a week ago, now they are back I'm feel a little settled with out Edward.


	2. Lucie Hargreaves

**Lucie Hargreaves**

_Alex stood in the hallway of our home, bags packed ready to leave, Amy waited in the car sobbing, where I slapped her around the face!_

"_Lucie I have to do the right thing, I'm going to be a father I have a responsibility to Amy and the baby. I am so sorry. I truly am. I didn't mean to."_

_I stared at Alex, how dare he, we had six months before we got married! How dare he do this to me! _

"_And that makes it ok? You didn't mean to. So what happened? Did she slip and fall onto your dick!" Alex tried to open the door, I tugged on his arm pulling him back, he jerked his arm out of my grasp "Lucie please sweetheart"_

"_The whole time you were seeing her behind my back! Why Alex? How long has this been going on?"_

"_Two…, three years or so, but when Amy fell pregnant we knew we had to tell you…"_

_I laughed with no humour, "Oh how fucking gracious of you!" he was only telling me because he had been found out, would their sordid little affair have carried on if we had married? _

"_This was supposed to be the happiest time of our lives and you… and her…. you're throwing it all away to be with a dirty little whore!" I screamed, with tears streaming down my face_

_Alex stared at the ground stammering, he was unable to look me in the eye, incapable of answering my questions._

_When he eventually answered, I was past caring, I closed in on myself, trying to remain strong._

"_Lucie I… I love her… I always have. I should never have asked you to marry me. What we had is different to what I have with Amy. You need to let me go."_

_I slammed the door in his face and sank to the floor in misery allowing pain to permeate my body and shock to punch holes through me, first my head and then my heart._

In hindsight, I wished I said some of those things, fought Alex at the front door, been strong enough to tell him where to go; I was too devastated to move, I accepted what they told me, I couldn't even slap Amy in the face and call her a slut! Why is that when you recall a conversation you come up with some of your wittiest lines? If only I could concentrate for long enough to stop me from thinking of that fateful day.

When Amy and Alex told me she was pregnant, Alex moved out, leaving me in the home we had bought together. I did not eat properly, I hardly slept, and my career suffered as a result. None of my friends or family knew Alex and I had split up until my sister Joanna rang one evening to arrange a weekend to visit us in Reading. Jo rang my dad. Worried when I did not answer her phone call and as soon as Pete knew, he made the decision for me to leave Reading and move back to our family home in Dorset, and that is where I have lived since February this year. Alex and Amy moved back into our house, took my name off the mortgage giving me a share of the money. Now all I have to show for ten years of commitment is £25,000 and a broken heart. I know I should not complain and should be thankful that I am out of a bad relationship, but today is a bad day and I am feeling pessimistic.

This was six months ago. I should be getting married tomorrow and going on honeymoon on Sunday and then planning to spend the rest of my days with Alex, so excuse me for feeling a little down. I seem to be coping, I have good days, and bad in equal measures. I try to take each day one step at a time. Being at the stables helps, I can cope in the fresh air, I took up yoga and palates to help me lose the weight I gained from my junk diet, and occasionally I eat fish, but not that often. It's when I go home and have to face being around others that I find things difficult. I tend to push people away and try to cope with things alone and lash out in temper at the slightest thing. I hate being a burden on my parents, I hate that I've lost my independence and I hate that I allowed Alex and Amy to hurt me so deeply, I wish I could stop hating and start living.

I stood in the stable yard, cleaning the hooves of my horse Sandy, preparing him for the show jumping contest held tomorrow. My best friend Becky was helping me with the dressage section of the show.

Switching off the radio, I gazed up at the bright blue sky and the thick layer of cloud that kept the sun hidden, preventing it from warming my skin. I looked around me briefly, familiarizing myself with my surroundings, birds chirped in the trees and seagulls cawed in the distance and the clouds grew darker, casting eerie shadows across the veiled sun, giving me an ominous feeling.

Today was Friday 31st July, although to me it did not feel like the end of the week, more like the beginning of another monotonous day filled with tears, tantrums and shouting!

A gust of salty wind blew off the coast causing my hair to fall around my eyes. I tied my hair upon my head, and continued cleaning Sandy's hooves.

"Hiya chicken, I've brought those worming tablets you wanted for Sandy."

"Hi Dad" I greeted him with a smile

I placed Sandy's hoof on the ground and gave my dad a squeeze; he hugged me back and handed me the tablets. I read the label briefly to check the dosage and thanked him.

"I can't stay long Lucie, because I'm expecting a delivery from Patrick soon, he's always so punctual."

"Ok well I won't keep you too long; anyway, can't Aiden sort him out?"

Aiden McNally is a locum vet my dad had employed to help with the extra clients. Aiden is what you would call you typical Australian bloke. He is from the Northern Territory of Australia his family come from a long line of beef farmers, he likes Aussie rules football, beer, rugby and barbecues. He has worked with my dad for three months, we get along well, he doesn't take any of my crap, and he and his girlfriend Vanessa have become good friends over the past few months.

"He could, but he's out at a seminar and I've got Chris Harris treating Aidan's clients, he doesn't know about the deal I've got going with Patrick." Dad gave me a wink and I laughed,

"Dad this is fruit and veg he's giving you, you're talking as though you're dealing heroin or something."

"He's not Luce, I don't want anybody asking questions, anyway can you at least try to be nice to him, and he has a real soft spot for you." My dad grinned nudging me with his elbow trying to appeal to my better nature

I groaned in exasperation, "Dad I want nothing to do with him! Not after the other night when he sat staring at me, it's not normal for a person to focus on something or somebody for so long!"

"Maybe, he's shy Luce, what about if you just talked to him-."

"I said no, dad!" cutting him off I folded my arms and glanced at Tilly, my crazy Springer spaniel as she chased reflections of the stirrups on Sandy's saddle as they blew in the wind.

I stopped what I was doing and shooed her into one of the empty stables. Sally my step mum, hated her being at home, because apparently she got in the way!

I inherited Tilly….Actually no; she inherited me after I split with Alex.

I love that dog so much. She is the much-needed comfort after six months on my own. She seems to know moods and is always there to love me unconditionally.

I stared at my dad, trying to keep my ever-bubbling temper at bay, I was never this angry before.

I looked around at the mess in the stables and sighed I tried to answer him calmly, "I've still got so much to do here, and I don't see me finishing past six o'clock, Claire said she might pop down to help."

"Lucie are you sure it's wise to ask Claire? You've done so well recently and I think having her around will set you back." I nodded. Things between us seemed to have improved since the last time, and I thought I could trust her.

"Ok honey, do you want dinner when you get home?"

"Yes please … Although is my board going to go up because Sally has to feed me as well as sacrifice her office to give me a place to sleep."

"No Lucie, don't be silly, you know you're welcome back, you'll always have a place at home with us."

"Thanks dad, at least you seem to think so."

"Oh Luce, of course I do, and so does Sally. Chin up chicken, hopefully we'll have some good news and we can put the last six months behind us."

"Yeah I hope so too."

My dad gave me a one-armed hug and patted Sandy on the head and left me to carry on working.

Eventually I finished what I was doing; put Sandy back in his stable and checked on the other horses, ensuring their stable doors were bolted. It was only recently that we found an old horse dead in the field.

On post-mortem, my dad had told me there was no blood in its veins! Aiden was clueless, even my dad could not find an explanation. There was nothing in all his old veterinary textbooks, even his old boss and the owner of the stable yard, Christopher Harris could not find an explanation. Remember the ominous feeling I mentioned, well it stayed with me well into the night and through my dreams…

_Patrick Fitzgerald gazed at me, a hungry glint in his crimson eyes, in his arms he held a limp figure of a young woman, she was bleeding, _

_Patrick covered in blood, could have been hers… __Next, a white room surrounded by my family and faceless figures, four men four women…_

_Patrick held my hand, pulling me away from my family the faceless figures nodded… __I was alone with Patrick; his eyes were blazing gold, with a flawlessly beautiful complexion, he advanced towards me._

_ I had nowhere to go, I was trapped… __The pain I felt, burnt through my body, _

_everything hurt, nothing could soothe me, nobody could save me, and then it stopped…._

_Alex and Amy, holding their baby, jeering at me…._

_ The wedding that never was…Alex and Amy old sitting in rocking chairs surrounded by grandchildren, me young, beautiful and dangerous_

_I gazed in a mirror, he was there with me, and I too was perfect, with crimson eyes…_

_The faceless vampires nodded with approval_….

Vampires! I am dreaming about vampires now, I must be insane! I sat up and checked my reflection in the mirror, trying to make sense of last nights dream;

again, my eyes were red and puffy from crying in my sleep. In the distance, I heard my mobile ringing, I answered it.

"Hello."

"Lucie." There was a lot of fake coughing and spluttering. It was Claire!

"I'm not coming to the stables or the show, I'm ill!"

"Ok fine, it's a good job I asked Becky, if that's all I'll get going then, bye then Claire." I kept my tone pleasant I knew this would rile her. I held the phone away from my ear, got out of bed and opened the curtains while she continued her tirade of abuse. I could not be bothered to listen to the bilge spewing from her mouth. I put my phone on loudspeaker so everybody heard what she was saying, it made no difference, she still ended up coming around, she didn't seem to bother Sally as much as she bothered dad!

"Before you go I though I'd tell you..."

I slammed the phone down I knew exactly what she would say how happy Alex and Amy were and how much they were looking forward to the birth of the baby and that I was only trying to befriend her to get closer to Alex, which was a lie, I didn't need to hear that today, I needed to focus. My real reasons were so I could be closer to Ryan my youngest brother. However, the more time he spent with her the further Ryan and I drifted apart. I sighed and took my riding clothes out of my wardrobe. A while later I heard my parents stirring then get up.

Ryan stood in the threshold of my bedroom, he had his arms folded and was tapping his foot on my wooden floor, with an expression on his face that said slap me now!

"What do you want?" I snapped

"Are you quite finished verbally abusing my girlfriend! Don't take your pathetic existence out on her, and stop living in the past!"

I raised my eyebrows and looked him up and down, "Ryan, go away! Did you hear me say anything to her?

He moved in close to me ensuring nobody heard, Ryan sneered at me, "When will you get the message Lucie…? Alex ...does not…. want you any more!"" He spoke to me as though I was simple.

"Don't do this, not today. " I half begged

He carried on disregarding my pleas. He leant on the door frame of my room and folded his arms, with an arrogant expression on his face, he flicked his hair out of his eyes and stared at me then placed a his thumb and index finger on his chin and thought for a while then he pointed at me and _laughed_!

He fucking laughed at me! "Oh yeah, I forgot you were supposed to be marrying him today! Hey maybe now you'll go and find your own life and stop trying to hold on something that died long ago!"

"GET OUT!"

Enraged that my brother took pleasure in my pain and humiliation, I threw one of my riding boots, which hit him square on the forehead! How dare he disrespect me in such a way, how dare he use my pain and humiliation to get a cheep laugh. I knew things between us had deteriorated since he continued to see Clare after Alex and I split but to sink to that level was unforgivable and I hated to admit this but I despised him and felt shame that I actually hated a member of my family!

His hand flew up to the bridge of his nose as a scarlet trickle of blood dripped from his nose. "Arrgh! You crazy bitch!" he bellowed

"Serves you right, now get out of my way!"

I seethed as I pushed past Ryan giving the dirtiest look I could summon. I stomped across the landing to the bathroom and slammed the door. I splashed water on my face and put on my moisturiser. I didn't need anything else to go wrong today, I knew I would have to face Sally when I got down stairs. I could already hear Ryan shouting and hollering downstairs.

My brother had decided to show more loyalty to Claire instead of his own flesh and blood, I was stuck back at home, living with my parents, feeling like an inconvenience to my stepmother, who did not seem to care or acknowledge my pain.

I needed to suck it up and carry on, try to turn my situation around, and try to put the past behind me, easier said that done as I sank to the floor and sobbed into my dressing gown.

After getting ready into old work clothes, I packed my riding uniform and placed it in a suit bag, picked up my riding boot and retrieved the missing boot from the landing

I made my way downstairs to the kitchen where Sally and dad were enjoying a cup of coffee and some toast.

"I thought I heard your dulcet tones… toast?" She offered, I shook my head declining.

"What did you throw at Ryan, do you realise he may have to go to A&E you could have broken his nose! And has a show to perform on Wednesday?"

"Well it serves him right if you ask me! Maybe it will knock some sense into him and he will learn to keep his mouth shut! Can't you do anything about him; he's your son for fuck sake!"

"That's enough!" Sally snapped

"No it isn't enough! How could you not hear what he said to me…?"

"I didn't hear a thing Lucie, all I heard was you shouting," Sally, sighed. "How many times have I told you to ignore him?"

I was about to say that was slightly difficult when he's in my room dredging up the past at every opportunity he gets, but Sally cut across me.

"Lucie, your father and I are getting fed up, with the constant bickering and cruel words between you two; it's got to stop before somebody gets seriously hurt, because I simply will not tolerate it any more!"

"That had nothing to do with me! I hope you're going to speak to him about what he said to me this morning! You may think its ok for him to laugh in my face and take the worst day of my life and use it to take the piss, but the last time I checked that was not acceptable!"

My dad looked up from his newspaper with his glasses perched on the end of his nose, he sighed

"Lucie! We will sort it out for you and tell him to leave you alone Ok."

I thanked my dad; grateful he was there to stick up for me, and left him and Sally arguing in the kitchen, closing the door behind me.

"Sally do you realise what day it is today? There was no need for that, none of this is her fault, you could have at least been a little more sympathetic….she is trying!"

I did not stop to listen to what Sally had to say; I had heard it all before. I heard my phone ringing, but could not answer it in time.

When I got to the car I listened to a voice-mail from by older brother Max, saying that he and my sister in-law Sarah were coming down to Dorset from Liverpool where they lived, they had a few weeks holiday and would most defiantly be there for moral support along with their two children, Joseph and Isaac. They were staying in a hotel for the night and would continue their journey the following day because a four-hour car journey with two small boys to entertain was not something to try in a day. I rang him back and told him about what Ryan had said and how I threw a boot in his face.

I started the engine of my car, reversed off the drive, and thought of the tenuous relationship between Sally, Ryan, and me as I drove to the stable yard. Yet again, she took Ryan's side as she always does. I never knew my biological mother she died of breast cancer after my first birthday, Max was five, and Joanna was two. We never saw the strain being a single parent took on him bringing up three young children less than five years old; Setting up his veterinary surgery and juggling household chores there was not enough money to make ends meet sometimes. He always managed to keep that side hidden, always had a smile for us, and never denied us love. We never went without because both sets of our grandparents were supportive through the hardest of times, taking us children away on holidays, and day trips to the city, making sure we had food in our bellies and clothes on our backs. They took care of us when my dad had to work long hours when the surgery was in its infancy.

We managed, so you could say my dad is my hero, he never gets enough praise for the job of raising us, and the most admirable thing about it is you never hear him complaining. He had to be a mother and a father, and provide us with a stable up bringing… we owe him a lot. My dad met Sally through Christopher and Linda Harris, former boss and mentor. I remember the first time Max, Jo and I met Sally. I was five, Jo was six and Max was eleven, my granddad Basil had dropped us off home after a riding lesson and my dad had told us to put on our best clothes, there was somebody special he wanted us to meet.

My dad married Sally in 1989, the five of us were happy the longest time. Sally worked hard to provide for her ready-made family, she made my dad happy and that was good enough for Max, Joanna and me. When Sally fell pregnant with Ryan the family dynamics began to change, Sally now had a child of her own, she never neglected us and always made time, but Ryan's welfare came before ours, and that caused arguments between her and my father. I was eleven when Ryan was born and though I saw Sally, as a role model then; that changed when Ryan came along I felt pushed aside, but tried to stay involved with Sally I needed a mother. Growing up I had more of a relationship with Becky's mum Marilyn than I ever had with Sally.

I spent more time at the stables with Joanna and Max, messing around and going on adventures in the surrounding fields and playing on the coast; and when I was not at the stables with Max and Jo I was at Becky or Dave's house, just hanging out and being teenagers. Rebecca Louise Rhodes and David Lewis Hughes are the most amazing best friends, I bless the day Becky shared her carton of milk with me when I spilt mine, on our first day at pre-school.

Ever since that day, she and Dave have been my closest friends and without them I would have gone down a very different path.

From the ages of thirteen to sixteen I rebelled against Sally, some would say for attention, some would say it was a cry for help, whatever the reason I made my dad and Sally's life hell. I never caused havoc on the streets or did anything malicious to other people, just took my frustrations out on Sally and dad, I got into fights at school with the tough girls in our year and was on the verge of being expelled. The worst thing I did was date one of Max's friends when I was sixteen, and he was twenty nearly twenty-one at the time, the arguments it caused were horrific.

As a child, my dad and Sally never raided a hand to me ever, but the night I disappeared with Max's friend Tommy Mitchell. Sally dragged me out of his car and slapped me across the face, then she and my dad gave me an hour-long lecture on the dangers of under-age sex. I thought I was old enough to date a man, and claimed I loved him I ran away with him for a day. My dad and Sally were frantic, they grounded me for months, and all I did was school, home sleep repeat, for months, forbidden to see Becky and Dave or any of my school friends. I spent my weekends helping Frank and Edith Collins at their teashop in Poole harbour or work at the veterinary surgery with my dad when he had on call duties and if we were not on call then I was stuck in the back cleaning operating equipment and answering telephones. I had an on/off relationship with a lad from Newcastle in my late teens and until I got to university and then went a little wild but this time, the trouble nearly lost me my life.

I arrived at the stables and got to work preparing Sandy's breakfast. I let Sandy out to stretch his legs after being cooped up all night. I let the other horses out to stretch their legs and checked the fields for any dead wild life. The horse was not the only casualty. A few weeks ago, I found three foxes and a monk jack deer all drained of blood with puncture wounds on their throats. There was something out there, something or somebody was doing this to animals and I needed to find out what it was, any cruelty to animals is abhorrent to me.I tried to pushed it to the back of my mind, but that foreboding feeling crept up on me again.

I heard somebody call out from behind me then felt a smack on my bum I turned around faced with Becky grinning at me.

"Allo, darling'!"

She startled me from my musings, "You alright my lover!" I answered over exaggerating my West Country accent.

"I hear Claire let you down again! Why do you ask that cow for anything…? Honestly Lucie you don't do yourself any favours by asking her to help, you end up hurt every time and I hate seeing you like this."

"You know why Becks." Becky nodded; we have had this conversation so many times

"I wish Ryan could see what vindictive little bitch she is…. Anyway I've decided not to let them two get the better of me, I'm going to enjoy life, I need to move on, I've wasted six months of my life dwelling on the past, this is not healthy to hold onto the pain. I wish there was somebody who knows me inside out and loves me for me!"

"What about that Patrick… eh?" she asked waggling her eyebrows

"Oh not you as well, been talking to my dad recently" and I jabbed her gently with my elbow, Becky grinned

Why were Becky and my dad urging me to know Patrick, he may be good-looking but he was nothing special, I continued telling Becky about the morning, she laughed loudly when I told her about hitting Ryan in the head with my riding boot, "Oh dear, did you damage your boot?"

"No Ryan's head bore the brunt of that, Becky I need to get out of there! They make me so angry! If it were not for my dad, I'd have gone months ago!"

"I know you would have, you know the offers still there to move in with Dave and me?" I nodded, feeling my eyes prickle with tears

"Do you know what you need Lucie, my lovely?"

"A lobotomy!" I sniffed

"No, you div!" She placed her arm around my shoulder

"You need a night out with me and Dave, ask Aiden and Vanessa to join us and we'll go to the Jolly Sailor and get completely wrecked, and not come home until the sun comes up, what do you say!"

"Sounds like a plan Becky." I grinned at her feeling the day could take a turn for the better with my bestie by my side!

While I made Becky a cup of tea, I thanked her for what seemed the umpteenth time; we talked about who was going to be entering each event with Sandy and the order of the show. The morning was wearing on and there was still so much to do. We had just started cleaning and polishing all the tack and saddle.

"Good morning my lovelies!" said Frank in his old West Country accent. "I've got Sandy's new shoes here ready to fit…. Please tell me you aren't going to put up another protest and tell me to stop torturing your little horse"

Laughed Frank the Farrier. Frank placed his equipment in the courtyard of the stables, and then stoked the fire in the kiln.

"Not at all. I'll let you get on with it this time." I told him with a fond smile

Frank Collins was a very familiar and much-loved face around the stable yard and a dear friend of the family, we grew up with Frank and his wife Edith, they taught us a lot, and that was where my love of animals began…

_I didn't like the stinky smell at the stables today, when Frank came, he always made it smell like daddy's socks and poo and fire. _

_There was lots of noise and banging and I watched him getting Starburst from her stable and holding her foot and then getting the orange horse shoe and putting it on her foot, she didn't cry but smoke came out and the stinky smell of fire and poo and daddy's socks went up my nose, I didn't like that._

"_Frank, what you doing, why have you got all that fire, are you going to hurt her?" I stood close to Frank and my daddy pulled me back._

_Frank shaked his head and smiled, my daddy put his hand on my shoulder and telled me, "Lucie, please stay back, this is very hot and I don't want you to get burnt…_

_Max, Joanna, take Lucie off to go and play."_

"_But daddy… Franks, gonna burn Starburst and hurt her feet."_

_My daddy smiled, "No, Lucie, don't worry, Starburst will be fine, ok you go and play and we'll come to find you when we're finished." _

_Maxi tagged me and told me I was 'it' and he and Jo-Jo runned away, I didn't want to be 'it' I always have to be 'it' first, it's not fair! __I didn't want to play with them and went and looked for spiders on my own, I got one and put it in a box and then went to the barn and played with my big spider. I liked it when the spider hanged off my finger by its web, and they can run really fast with all them legs they got._

_I wish I had lots of legs like a spider and I could run away from Maxi really fast when he chases me with slugs and I could catch him when we play tag and I wouldn't have to be 'it' all the time! __I like all animals and all the bugs but not slugs cos they're all slimy and once I treaded on one and it squished in my toes and Maxi called me slug foot!_

_I looked up and saw Frank,_

"_There you are Lucie, we wondered where you got to, and you mustn't go off without telling a grown-up where you're going, poppet it's getting dark come back with me and we can have a drink of hot chocolate."_

"_Ok, I'm sorry."_

"_That's ok; just remember for next time…what's that you have there, a spider?" I nodded_

_He sitted next to me and took my spider, called Boris, and I watched it run up his arm and over his hand. He stood up and I held on his hand and we said good-bye to Boris we walked out of the barn and round the corner where my daddy and Maxi and Jo-Jo waited, and Uncle Frank telled me,_

"_I've finished putting on Starburst's shoes, if you want to make sure she's ok."_

_Frank still smelled like fire and his hands was all dirty. "Frank, why did you have to put different shoes on Starburst?"_

"_Because, of all the riding, sweetheart. I bet your daddy wouldn't let you go outside with no shoes on."_

"_Sometimes he does, but only when I'm playing in the garden."_

_Frank laughed and my daddy laughed, "Right, well Starburst's feet have soft parts on them that need protecting like your feet and the shoes help to do that… Also if I didn't give her new shoes then Starburst's feet would hurt, because her feet grow like yours, how would you feel if you had shoes on your feet that were too small?"_

"_I'd feel sad and have hurting feet."_

"_That's right, so that's why we have to change her shoes. Here you go Lucie, I have something for you."_

_Frank gived me the thing in has hand and it was all muddy and dirty, "This is one of Starburst's old shoes and its lucky…Always hold it up the right way or all the luck will fall out and get washed away down the drain to China…!"_

Back in the real world, Frank had finally finished and was cleaning up it was quarter to eight.

"Well that's me done, girlies! Oh and Lucie feel free to drop in for a cuppa, Edith, would love to see you again"

"Thanks Frank, tell Edith I said hi."

"Will do Lucie and good luck for today!"

"Bye Frank and thank you!" We called in unison as he got into his Land Rover and drove away.

After dropping Becky home, I waved to Dave who stood at the bay window of their home and made my way back home to get ready for my big night out. The time was five o' clock, I should be in my wedding dress now happily married spending my first few hours as Mrs Alexander Dinsdale, sitting at our wedding breakfast, listening to my dad's speech…. Briefly my thoughts wandered to Alex, is he even aware of what should have happened today, I doubted it, he's probably too wrapped up in playing happy families with her! Knowing what I do now, I would rather be going out on the piss with Becky than tying myself down to him.

When I got home I had plenty of time for a long hot bath to soothe away all my aches and pains. I made sure I took time to pamper myself and ventured downstairs to get a glass of wine, fully relaxed and ready for a good night on the tiles.

Sally and Claire were in the kitchen with a bottle of £25.00 Melbec, I bought and was saving for my dad's birthday open on the worktop! Claire took a huge glug of the wine, holding my gaze and sneered at me!

Where was my dad when I needed him…? I'll tell you where he was, he was at Chris and Linda's house no doubt watching rugby in Chris's den while drinking whiskey and putting the world rights! I was not going to allow Claire to ruin my evening so I ignored her and disregarded the thudding in my ears from my raised pulse _I hope you choke you little bitch! _What the hell is she doing here, does the little bitch have an ounce of decency in her scrawny little body! I could not believe what I was seeing. I glowered at Sally; making sure, she knew I was livid! What goes on in that head of hers? Is she doing this to get back at me for years of rebellion, at that moment in time I felt as though this entire situation was a conspiracy to send me over the edge and into a mental asylum!

I glared at them grabbing the bottle and poured it down the sink, I know that was irrational but there was no way they were going to enjoy that wine not after I bought it. I left the kitchen, slamming the door as I went. I returned to my room and picked out my most favourite outfit my red silk camisole and black, skinny jeans and leopard print platform heels and my favourite _Mulberry_ handbag, I turned on my I-pod to find some Muse. With Assassin blasting through the speakers, there was a loud rapping on my door;

"What the fuck Sally!"

"Don't you dare swear at me, Lucinda Jade Hargreaves! What was that all about! Claire wonders what she has done wrong, and so do I, why are you being so hostile"

I baulked, and my mouth flew open

"Oh I'm being hostile, is it any fucking wonder! I think she knows exactly what the problem is… what do you expect me to do about it!"

"Act like an adult instead of a petulant teenager!"

"I was trying to do the adult thing by ignoring her!" I turned the music down slightly, but continued speaking at the same volume,

"I can't win can I, I'm wrong when I try to speak to her and I'm wrong when I ignore her, she's a manipulative little bitch and she has you right where she wants you… Do you even know what day it is today and what was supposed to have happened?"

Sally gave me a blank look, I shook my head with disbelief, "…but hey why should you care, you haven't for the past six months while I've gone through the roughest time of my life, why should another few months matter, I've only been living under the same bloody roof as you."

"Not for long if this carries on!" she bellowed at me

"Well fine, that's it throw me out, I'm sure we'll see what my dad has to say about that! I can't stand another fucking minute in this house with you and your twisted perception of family…. So long as Ryan gets what he wants, its bollocks to the rest of us!"

Sally stayed in the doorway of my room, her cheeks flush, her eyes bulging, filling with tears beneath her rectangular glasses and her neat bob messy where she had brushed her hands through her hair, I didn't care at that moment that she was close to tears, she needed to hear what I had to say

"I have done nothing wrong! They are the ones who are provoking me; she is the one dredging up the past at every opportunity! I am sick to death with you making me feel like the villain!"

I paced the room irate, months of anger and pain tumbling out of my mouth

"Alex is her brother! She is bound to see things from his point of view and use my pain and humiliation against me for a cheep laugh! To dig that knife in a little deeper! Is it not enough that I am already fucked up as it is…? Do I not deserve a little peace at home? You don't get it Sally! You were sharing wine with her as if nothing happened at all… which by the way I specifically asked you not to open because I was saving it for MY dad's birthday! "

I barged past her, stood at the top of the landing,

"I HOPE YOU CAN HEAR THIS AND I HOPE YOU'RE PROUD OF YOURSELF!"

Sally pulled me back into the room ans tried to hold my arms, "Oh for heaven's sake! Stop being so melodramatic Lucie! It was a bottle of wine, how was I to know you were saving it for your father!"

I lifted my arms away from her and folded them to my chest, "Oh I don't know, how about you asked me, you know that thing called common decency and mutual respect, things that you seem to lack when it comes to me!"

"That works both ways Lucie! How dare you insinuate that I don't care about you, that's an awful thing to say and you know full well there is no truth in it!"

"Well then prove it! Show me you care and chuck her out of the house and stop Ryan from seeing her. Be the parent you say you are and protect your children!"

"Lucie…" I knew I had gone too far when she sank onto my bed tears streaming down her face. I stopped pacing and stood next to her, then sat on the bed by her side. How was it that I was the one comforting her when she was the one who allowed Claire in the house. Sally peered at me over her glasses tears falling down her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry you feel that way, I was trying to keep the peace between you. If you just sat and spoke with her like you used to, then maybe you could talk this through." I glared at her I truly could not believe she was saying.

"No, I don't think that will work! We're past the talking things through stage! " I snapped, making quote marks with my fingers, she glared at the ground

"I know I've caused you more trouble than Max and Joanna and Ryan, but this should never have got this bad, Sally…" I looked into her eyes, she reminded me of a frightened child and her expression made me blister with rage.

"For goodness sake, who is the parent here, I just want my life back, I'm sorry I said you don't care, but that's how it feels to me, you haven't once asked me how I'm coping, you've just carried on as though nothing has happened, do you have any idea how much that hurts." The tears I held back fell, staining my top.

Sally reached for me and I sat next to her on my bed, she soothed hair away from my face and kissed my forehead. "Lucie of course I do, I understand how hard today was going to be… I'm so sorry, sorry for everything. Especially the wine would you like me to replace it?"

I slapped my thigh in exasperation "Sally it's not about the wine. I don't care about the wine! It's that you are so clueless when it comes to Ryan and Claire! That you'd rather turn a blind eye and carry on as if the last six months never happened. And the day when I needed you the most, you are sitting in the kitchen sharing a bottle of wine with my ex-fiancé's sister! Do you have any idea how fucked up that is!"

Sally took a deep breath and sighed, softening her tone so I had no choice but to calm down, she pulled me on my bed to sit with her, I stiffened against her, trying to protect myself.

"I see that now and I cannot apologise enough, Lucie I tried, I really did but you won't let me in. So when you came home from Reading, I thought the last thing you wanted to do was talk about what he did, so I tried to keep things going as if it never happened." Sally placed an arm around my shoulder and gave it a squeeze, the way she used to when I was younger, she smoothed the hair out of my eyes and I lay my head on her shoulder.

"I understand how much Alex has hurt you. Sweetheart I am so sorry I let that happen, I failed you as your mother. I thought that if I allowed Ryan to see Claire that it may improve between you, but I see now that was wrong. I should have realised that letting her in the house was the wrong thing to do and you are right I should have done more to protect you.

"I do love you Lucie and I should have seen how vulnerable you were and still are, if there is anything I can do to help, name it and it's yours."

"You know what I want. I want my baby brother back. I want Ryan to stop seeing her, but that is Ryan's choice. Ultimately, he is the only one who can change that, not us. I do need to move out Sally, before things get worse."

"Oh Lucie are you sure?"

I nodded, "I can't live with my parents forever."

"Where will you go?"

"I'm going to see if I can rent one of the spare flats above the surgery. I haven't really been sensible with the money I got from the share of the mortgage; I don't even know how much it left in my account."

"Well if it's what you need to do, then I won't stand in your way. Just make sure you speak to your dad first ok."

"I will Sally. Do you mind if I finish getting ready now, I was supposed to meet Becky and Dave at nine?"

Sally left my room and I worked to put my face back together, I knew I would feel better after a screaming fit, why did I not do this in the beginning, now I had aired all my anger I felt as though I could finally move on.


	3. First encounter

_**First Encounter**_

Saturday nights were always busy in Poole. One thing that never changed since I had returned from Reading, this sleepy tourist town on the south coast of England had a fantastic night-life rich with a variety of people from all walks of life. The young groups of twenty some things out on the piss, middle-aged couples out for a quiet drink with friends to the old couples making the most of the light summer evenings, enjoying a bowl of cockles on Poole's quayside. That meant there one thing there was no guarantee over was who would turn up to Old Norman Malone's open mike nights you never knew whether the acts that performed were any good. That's why we liked to drink in there, because every night was a surprise.

I arrived at the Jolly Sailor half an hour late, Becky and Dave had already found a table, Becky was on her third Bacardi and coke

"Woo hoo! Finally. Where have you been?" Becky screeched no doubt already drunk!

I groaned, not wanting to re-live the argument with Sally to Becky. "I'm so sorry; I bet you thought I'd abandoned you. All I'll say is that I got a lot off my chest, I'll tell you later."

Becky knew not to ask further questions, I was grateful for that. "Good, you actually sound a little happier. Anyway, Dave has a surprise for you."

"Oh really, what?" This had me intrigued

Becky tapped her nose, "Sorry Luce I can't tell you. You'll just have to wait and see. Do you want a drink babe?" I nodded and took my purse from my bag.

Becky spotted my purse in my hand,

"Put that away missy!" she turned to Dave placing her arm around his shoulder and kissing him on the cheek, she fluttered her eyelashes, buttering him up

"David another round of drinks when you're ready…" I shook my head and laughed she was so cheeky where Dave was concerned!

"Rebecca Louise Rhodes you're terrible, I'll get these. Dave what do you want?" Dave laughed and offered to help me with the order. We wandered off to the bar together, "So how you doing then?"

"I'm good Luce, I'm glad I've got you alone actually because I want your opinion on something."

"Ok, I'm all ears."

"You know Becks is thirty at the end of the month, I wanna do something special, has she dropped any hints to you?"

"Well she has mentioned before how she wants to go riding in Andalusia or Tuscany."

"Oh cool thanks Luce you're a star, I'll look into it." Dave gave me a peck on the cheek,

"Luce?" Dave gave me a puppy dog expression and grinned at me, I rolled my eyes.

"Dave." I answered

"You couldn't help me to arrange it could you?"

"I suppose so as it's you who's asking." And clapped him on the shoulder I ordered a Bacardi and coke for Becky, Dave's cider and a cider and blackcurrant for myself. As we headed towards our table, the doors to the pub opened, and Aiden and Vanessa came walking in hand in hand. Vanessa was beautiful, tall, and willowy with golden blonde wavy hair, bleached by the sun, the polar opposite to Aiden who was broad shouldered, burley, handsome and rugged, with a mop of thick brown hair and a scar under his right eye. I bought drinks for Aiden and Vanessa and the four of us walked over to Becky.

However, she was not alone, Patrick Fitzgerald sat with her and he seemed to have appeared from nowhere. Dave gave Becky her drink and sat on the other side of her Vanessa and Aiden joined us at the table making it a tight squeeze. Once everybody had moved down the bench, Patrick brushed arms with me, I expected warmth, and instead I got a strange and pleasant chill ran up my arm, leaving a tingling sensation down my spine. Whoa, where did that come from, he seemed not to have noticed and continued staring into space.

Patrick was always alone I had never seen him out with a group of friends his own age or for that matter a girlfriend. On the rare occasions that he joined us, I could feel his gaze follow my every move. I would try to ignore Patrick and his stares.

In all honesty, he made me uncomfortable. I admit that he is extremely good-looking, the gaggle of ogling women or Patrick Fitzgerald fan club as Becky and I call them would say different. They would say he was beautiful, I had no time for them either, they irritated me, because even I could see he was not interested. Patrick had light brown hair with a slight a wave; his hair was always neat and tidy. He had a chiselled square jaw, with five o'clock shadow, muscular and around six-foot tall. He always wore a white collarless shirt with the sleeves rolled up, exposing his forearms and wore tan coloured trousers.

Tonight, however, he wore a fitted black t-shirt, jeans and had a tan calf's leather jacket over his lap, beneath the t-shirt I could see he had well-defined muscles, I pictured myself running my hands over his finely defined chest….where did that come from? While the other four were chatting, I was left sitting next to Patrick. I could feel him staring at me so I looked directly into his eyes noticing they were the most beautiful colour I had ever seen, amber /gold, but he had dark circles under them, it looked as though he had too many late nights.

I smiled briefly as I met his gaze, "Hi…err, Patrick, are you having a good evening?"

"I am thank you Lucie; it's so nice of you to ask. Becky tells me you're out celebrating?"

In all of my encounters with Patrick, he had never actually spoken to me directly and I became entranced by the sound of his voice. There was a musical tone to it, and his Irish accent sounded very seductive. I gaped in astonishment, I didn't know what to say, I knew it was rude to stare, so I smiled politely and fiddled with my necklace, I felt his eyes burning into the side of my head, I turned to face him, his expression was friendly and eventually, I found my voice, "Umm, sorry what were you saying ?"

"Becky tells me you're out celebrating?" he was grinning at me with a cheeky smile, my heartbeat quickened.

"Oh, yeah we're celebrating the win of the competition we entered my horse into, you can join us if you like," I giggled; I haven't giggled in months, somehow it felt strange!

He beamed at me and instantly I flushed scarlet, "Thank you Lucie, I'd like that very much."

I sat silently and took a sip of my drink for something to do _what am I doing! _I told myself.

He smiled again and my breath caught in the back of my throat, my resolve was slipping and I was succumbing. Sitting this close to Patrick I had not noticed how flawless and pale his skin was, I wanted to touch him and I wanted to stay in his company, all those weeks where he sat staring and all I had to do was talk to him, I suppose he wasn't so bad after all.

Old Norman, the pub landlord turned down the music and spoke on the microphone. The Patrick Fitzgerald fan club were dancing badly to Rhianna, and groaned then went to the toilets on the other side of the bar. They walked past our table, all of them glanced in Patrick's direction and he took no notice.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen…. Is this thing on…?" Rambled Norman, "…First up for open mike night, we have Dave and Lucie, singing _Little Talks _by _of monsters and Men." _Norman turned to Dave, with a look of confusion, "Is that right mate?" Dave nodded and picked up his Acoustic guitar, handed me a tambourine that was on the stage floor and walked with me to the stage.

I had no idea he had started playing again. I loved singing with Dave, as teenagers we used to entertain our friends with our renditions of modern rock to the classics. Dave took music seriously and I enjoyed singing and took lessons when I was younger. Dave wanted to be a musician but a bout of depression during his late teens prevented him from perusing his music career. I sang and kept beat with the tambourine while Dave played guitar and sang the male parts of the song. I glanced over to our table and no one was sitting there.

Patrick stood watching with a smile on his face and the others had come closer to the stage and were singing along with us, Becky and Vanessa were dancing. When we finished playing, we received a mixed response from the pub, a few boos' a ripple of polite applause and some continued their conversations and others took no notice of us. Patrick, Dave and Aiden left the stage area and went to the bar; they ordered another round of drinks then sat at the table. Becky, Vanessa and I stayed where we were to listen to a boy aged around eighteen perform an acoustic version of _LMFAO_ _Sexy and I know_ _it, _he kept winking at Becky, this made me laugh, I nudged Becky on the arm,

"You still got it Becks!" she grinned

The three of us stayed where we were to dance, and while we were dancing my gaze wandered over to the table where Patrick, Aiden and Dave sat. Every time I glanced over, my eyes met with Patrick's, so I did something I never thought I would ever do in his presence; I winked! Patrick returned the gesture!

Becky noticed me and raised her eyebrows, "And so have you!"

When Becky's little friend finished playing, Vanessa, Becky and me walked over to the table, the men were in a huddle chatting and laughing, and we caught the end of their conversation,

"Just remember Paddy play it cool and you'll…"

Dave made a fake coughing noise that distinctly sounded as though he had said "_In coming_" Aiden looked up at us and stopped talking, Patrick nodded and gave me a shy smile, and then Dave caught Aiden's attention, and started talking about sport. Vanessa gulped down the wine that Aiden had just brought her and wanted another round of drinks.

"Bloody hell Nessa, I hope I'm not going to have to carry you home tonight, that Lucie's a bad influence on you!" He grinned and I shoved him in the arm

"Oi, what you blaming me for, I'm not forcing it down her neck Aiden. Come on lets leave these old gits to their conversation."

"I'm not as old as you Lucie!" Aiden shouted after me, which is a lie; he has to be at least four years older than me. Becky and Vanessa laughed and followed me to the bar.

We ordered the drinks and some shots for us, which we downed at the bar, then joined Aiden Patrick and Dave at the table. They were still engrossed in the defeat of the All Blacks so we left them to it and sat outside. At the first opportunity Becky got, she collared me over my flirting with Patrick

"I don't know what you're talking about Becks…" I grinned "… he _is _looking kinda fit tonight. I'm loving the black t-shirt tonight, such a change to see him in something different! Very sexy…!"

"Lucinda!" She squawked, "Are you telling me that you fancy Patrick?"

"I might be… he is sort of stunning." I smiled mysteriously not believing I was admitting my attraction

"Anyway I'll have to join the queue behind his fan club…" I sat on the nearest bench, and smacked myself in the forehead, as if hitting myself in the head would make any difference.

"Arrgh! What am I saying; I vowed I would never go there…"

"I know you did. Now look at you P.F.F.C wannabe!" Becky grinned at me again

Becky and Vanessa giggled then started chanting,

"Lucie likes Patrick, Lucie likes Patrick, Lucie likes Patrick!" I blazed bright red and began fiddling with the ring on my middle finger

Vanessa placed an arm around my shoulder "Do you like him?" I half shook my head, I couldn't answer her. Even I didn't know what was happening. I don't need a man to complete me , I am who I am, love me or hate me, take me or leave me!

"I don't know…I don't know how I feel, it's so soon after Alex, there's the fact that he watches my every move. Don't you think that's slightly strange…? You know, when I sat down earlier I got a strange chill that ran down my spine and then there are his eyes, they're beautiful, he's beautiful…! That doesn't mean to say I want anything to happen."

Becky sat beside me, placing her arm around my shoulder; she looked directly into my eyes

"Lucie you fancy him and I know for a fact that he's besotted with you. … I know what you're like. You've got that look in your eye that says I am saying one thing but thinking another. Just go for it, he won't be single forever and you deserve to be happy after the crap that ball bag Alex put you through."

Maybe they are right, I do deserve some happiness, Alex has moved on so why shouldn't I?

We finished our drinks and stayed outside, Vanessa asked us how the contest went, and we told her we did well but we have to work on Sandy's lateral work, turns and jump technique if we want to compete again, I thought he worked well considering this was his first show.

After a while, we returned to the pub for a dance .The atmosphere had livened up and there were crowds of people everywhere we turned.

The performers had stopped for a while as Beyoncé belted out through the speakers, the baseline vibrating through me like a heartbeat _"if you like it you should have put a ring on it…" _we sang and shimmied to the music; I tried and failed miserably to mimic the dance moves from the video! The music changed again, _Always stay too long _by _Plan B_, Becky Vanessa and I danced messing around and singing along with the song, trying to be rappers. I had a bottle of mineral water I bought earlier and used it as a microphone. The DJ played _Mr Brightside_ by the _Killers_ I continued using my microphone bottle to serenade Becky and Vanessa and gathered them in a huddle and we began jumping around in a circle.

The last song before the next singer was the _Muse _version of _Can't take my eyes off you_, I glanced over at the table, Patrick, Aiden and Dave were watching us, I sauntered over, wiggling my hips and making heart shapes using my hands and stood in the walk way miming to muse Aiden rolled his eyes, Dave joined in with me; and Patrick, the poor thing! He did not know where to look, he grinned shyly at me

"Lucie you're mental sit down before you fall down…. Honestly how do you dance in those heels!" asked Dave with a grin, I placed my arm around his shoulder,

"Actually, you should know! You walk better in high heels than I can, Davina!" then danced my way back to Becky and Vanessa.

Norman announced that Dave and I were singing again, I wandered off to find out the song from Dave. He had chosen _We love to boogie_, by _T-Rex_

I walked up to the podium grinning at Dave's song choice and my jaw dropped.

Alex was standing alone by the bar, looking the same as I remember, with his dirty blonde hair, tall stature and classic good looks and I felt nothing. I didn't care if he saw me, I was moving on, he had no right to make me feel uncomfortable and I was not going to run and hide like a coward, and if he saw me I knew I could handle him. Dave played the opening chords Dave sang and I harmonised with him singing backing vocals. Again we received a mixed response and those who were already dancing stayed where they were, Becky and Vanessa made their way to the front and I pulled them up on stage, they became our backing dancers.

When we finished we received a round of applause, and the next performers came on stage, I made my way through the crowd to the bar and waited to be served. Somebody brushed past my shoulder; I turned around and Alex was standing behind me,

"Hi Lucie, you're looking well." His Scottish accent lancing through opening up old wounds

"Thank you very much Alex, what do you want?" I kept my tone clipped

"Listen, I know you must hate me, I never thought I would see you tonight."

I held up my hand to stop him, I laughed with no humour, "Oh yeah that's right, I'm supposed to be wallowing, I forgot about that."

"Lucie can't we just-"

"No. We can't just anything Alex… by the way I don't hate you, not in the slightest; I'm actually disappointed that you turned into everything you said you would never be."

Trembling I turned and stalked off towards the nearest exit. I needed some fresh air, the atmosphere in the pub and the heat of the alcohol became too claustrophobic, my head spun as I made my retreat.

I was not ready to move on after all, that became clear when he spoke, his voice bringing back a million memories of happier times before _her. _All slowly fading away leaving nothing but pain and destruction behind. I never cry in public, I never wallow; but after months of trying to stay strong and focused everything crumbled around me, the scenes replaying in my mind, the night they told me, when I left the veterinary surgery in Reading, the weeks I spent in my room numb, not eating, and probably drinking too much. I let the tears fall and allowed myself to grieve for the life that should have been mine.

Misery threatened to consume me, and I felt something cold gently brush my shoulder and the same pleasant shivery sensation returned. I glanced up through my tears and Patrick was standing in front of me, his expression concerned

_"Lucie what's wrong, was that man bothering you, Becky sent me to see where you were, Are you ok?"_

_ I looked into his beautiful golden eyes; even through my tears and drunken haze, he was still as handsome as ever. I gave him a watery smile and took a deep breath. I shuddered, as his hand rested on my shoulder._

_"I'm fine Patrick; no he wasn't bothering me, he's nobody. Tell Becky I'll be back in a while."_

_ He ignored my protest, removed his hand from my shoulder and sat beside me on the wooden bench in the beer garden._

_"If it's ok with you I'll stay. Come on budge up there; you look as though you need a friend. I would hate for anything to happen to you while you're so vulnerable."_

_ He gave me a charming smile that melted my heart, I do not need this, not now, please just go away!_

_My defence mechanisms kicked in as I tried to protect myself, I answered him a little harsher than I intended,_

_"You don't need to know my entire life history Patrick! I don't need a friend. I'll be back in a while." _

_He held his hands up in defence, was I really that awful, "Ahh Now, I'm not leaving you so there! Despite what you say, you need somebody to talk to and I don't mind honestly, you seem upset. You talk and I'll listen."_

_"Patrick I…"_

_ "Go on I'm a good listener, I've had years of practice… I've always said, you'll never plough a field if you turn it over in your mind."_

_ As he said those last words, I opened up to him and told him all my woes and worries._

_He listened while I spoke and not once did he interrupt or offer his opinion he asked the odd question, which helped me to open up to him. I shivered again and Patrick draped his jacket around my shoulders. I was unsure if I imagined it, but his jacket felt colder than the night air. I must have imagined it, right?_

_I sighed as I lifted my head from his shoulder, wiping a tear from my eye,_

_"I must look awful; I bet I've got panda eyes"_

_ I reached into my bag, pulled out my compact mirror, and stared at my mascara-streaked eyes, my god Lucie when did you become so shallow, he probably doesn't care and hasn't even noticed._

_Patrick beamed angelically and shook his head, "Ahh no, not at all. Here, take this." He reached into his trouser pocket and handed me a white cotton handkerchief embroidered with initials C.P.F. I thanked him and began cleaning up my face._

_ "I hope this means we can be friends, I'd like to know you better Lucie." _

_I smiled back at him, giving him back the handkerchief_

_ "I'd like that, Patrick. I'm sorry if I seemed off with you, I haven't even told Becky half of that. Thanks for listening."_

_"You're very welcome."_

_We gazed at one another, neither of us speaking, not in an awkward way, but amicable, I could get used to this. His eyes penetrated deep into mine as though he was searching for something; I looked at the ground to break the intensity. I glanced up briefly and opened my mouth to speak,_

"So... wha…d`you…" We said together and laughed.

"No no, go ahead ladies first; what did you want to say?" Patrick grinned gesturing to me with his hand.

"I just wondered if you were busy tomorrow, and if you wanted to meet up?"

Where did that come from, I have gone from not trusting him to asking if he was free tomorrow, he looked as shocked as I felt when he spoke, I hope I haven't scared him off

"Really? Umm yeah that sounds great, I'd love to… do you like classic Hollywood movies?"

"Yeah I do as it goes, what did you have in mind?"

"Well there's a drive in movie exhibition on all day tomorrow, you know… like the ones they had in the fifties, I thought we could go there if you wanted."

"Ok, I'd like that Patrick, sounds fun, I had a bit of a thing for Doris Day when I was little, and I thought I was going to be Calamity Jane, so that explains where the love of riding came from…" I was rambling again, "So do you know what time it all starts?" he gave me another charming smile

"I'll have a look and get back to you, can I call by tomorrow and let you know."

I shook my head, "There's no need to do that, Just text me. You do have a mobile phone?"

"Err…No I don't own one, you see I repel modern technology." His face fell and he looked embarrassed. "Could I telephone you at home?"

I placed a hand on his arm and gently patted it, the skin on his arm felt smooth but marble hard and cold, not what I expected!I put it down to the amount of alcohol in my system.

"Don't worry about it…do you want my phone number?"

He nodded. I searched in my bag for a pen and my phone, and found an old receipt from Sainsburys at the bottom of my bag wrote my number down and handed it to him.

"Thank you." He replied coyly "Shall we head back inside; I think your friends will be getting a little worried." He offered me his arm, which I happily took and we walked back into the pub together.

The music was louder when we entered and I scanned the area for Becky and the others and could not see them. I looked over at the dance floor and three of my friends were dancing. Aiden stood propped up at the bar, chatting casually to Carly the veterinary nurse, she spotted me and waved, I waved back and held Patrick's hand as we pushed through the crowd. I recognised Becky's mass of chestnut-brown curls and watched as she danced with Dave. we made our way through the crowd to my best friend.

Her jaw dropped when she saw my hand in Patrick's shocked she raised an eyebrow. "Err Miss Hargreaves; I'd like a word with you please!" Becky turned to Patrick grinning

"Don't mind us Patrick. I just want a few minutes with Lucie, she'll be back soon and you can hold hands again!" she giggled then frogmarched me off to the bathroom, leaving Patrick standing in the middle of the dance floor dumb founded.

"Right you. What was that all about?"

"What was what all about? I was only holding his hand, it's rammed in here and I needed to find you."

"But where did you go, one minute you were on stage and then you were gone, are you ok Luce?" Becky had noticed I had been crying.

I shook my head, "I saw Alex after I came off the stage."

"Oh no, did he see you?"

I nodded.

"What happened?" Becky sounded concerned

"I don't know, really I never found out what he wanted, I didn't give him the chance to tell me. Becky, did you send Patrick out to check on me?"

"No, honey, why what did he say?"

"He told me that you were worried about me and you sent him to see if I were ok."

Becky's eyes flashed intuitively, "Hhmmm… Luce I think it was an excuse to get you alone and it's worked, I can't believe you were holding his hand," she teased, jabbing me with her elbow. I moved so I was facing the mirror checking my reflection, making sure I had cleaned my face properly.

"So what did you talk about, you were gone for a while?"

"He asked me why I was upset; I wasn't going to tell him at first but then it all kind of came out and once I started I couldn't stop… he just listened."

"Ummm… ok, I'm surprised you chose Patrick to spill your guts to, I thought you weren't going there?"

"Yeah I know, but he was kinda persistent, I didn't have a choice really"

"Lucie you've got that look in your eye again, you're falling for him."

"No, I'm not, Rebecca!"

Becky smiled and nodded "You so are Lucinda! So are you seeing him again?"

"Yep, tomorrow, we're going to that drive in exhibition."

"Really? Wow, well have fun, and I hope it all works out well. So does this mean we can start double dating again?"

"Becky it's not a date. I still don't know how I feel yet; I don't even know if I feel anything."

Becky leapt off the counter in the women's toilets and hugged me "Am I finally getting my best friend back?"

"I think so" We left the bathroom arm in arm.

By the end of the evening, Becky and I were both shattered and decided to call it a night, we left the pub and stepped into the cool evening air.

While Dave and Aiden hailed down a taxi, Becky and Vanessa had wandered off to find a kebab shop. I didn't fancy the cheesy chips they were bringing back for me, I knew I would just be eating them for the sake of it.

I stood shivering watching the black water shimmer as flecks of orange from the street lamps of the quayside danced on the surface.

I wished I had bought a jacket. Patrick stood with me and handed me his jacket while I shivered in the cool night air,

"Here Lucie I don't want you getting ill, wear this."

"Thank you. Patrick, aren't you cold, the temperature has dropped… we'll be in the taxi soon." I rubbed my bare arms, trying to retain some heat and sat on the table of the nearest bench and kicked off my shoes, wiggling my toes free, they seemed such a good idea at first.

"No, I don't really feel the cold; my inner thermostat must be out of whack." Patrick laughed to himself privately.

I gazed at him with slight confusion, "It must be. Do you suffer from poor blood circulation?" this baffled me, because his hands had been so cold, despite the warm atmosphere of the pub.

"Err no I don't suffer from poor circulation." He gave the same secret smile, I looked at him in wonderment, I wanted to know more.

"So how come you enjoy old movies… and how old are you Patrick?"

"I'm twenty-eight, I prefer the older movies, because there's less sex and violence, and it's more about the story line and plot."

Then he grinned angelically at me, "So you could say I could be your toy boy if you wanted."

My heart skipped a beat and fluttered in my chest, Jesus Christ! He must have a clue on the effect he's having on me.

"Hmm… I could if I wanted to, but I'm still trying to figure you out, because you act like somebody older than your years, what year were you born?"

"I was born in 1984, Miss quizzical," he teased

"Are you sure it wasn't 1884?"

"Ahh… now that would make me ancient, No… I was born April the fourteenth 1984."

"So come on then, where do you live?" I needed to know more, I couldn't shake the feeling that he was hiding something from me. When Patrick answered, he looked past me and out to sea.

"Err… On Brownsea Island… "He answered quickly and then avoided my gaze, choosing to focus on the streetlamps… "I get the ferry over; there isn't a lot to do on the island…." That struck me as odd; I don't think anybody has inhabited Brownsea Island since before WWII! I was too tired to question him any further, I was sure I would find out more tomorrow.

"Ok, how are you getting home, hasn't the last ferry already gone?"

"Ahh don't worry about me, I'll see if I can find a hotel to stay in or something…"

"Patrick, just do me a favour, you still have my phone number, don't you?" He nodded and pulled the receipt out of his pocket.

"Will you ring me to let me know you got home safe?"

"Of course I will…. looks as though your chariot awaits!"

Patrick grinned at me as a taxi pulled up in The Jolly Sailor's car park and Becky and Vanessa came clattering around the corner laden with kebab and chip cartons, in the distance I heard the cab driver tell them they will have to leave the food or eat it. I jumped off the bench and stumbled into him. He caught me gently by the arms and we stood gazing at each other, the intensity returned and Patrick broke the silence,

"Err… I think you had better go now, your friends are waiting…Will I see you tomorrow?"

My breath caught in my throat again, "I hope… err…You will, they'll be awhile with their midnight feast, you can share some chips if you like."

He wrinkled his nose, "Ahh no, thanks anyway but I don't like to eat past midnight, I get terrible indigestion…I'll let you get on and I'll see you tomorrow, goodnight Lucie, have pleasant dreams."

"And you, I hope you get home safe."


	4. The date

_**The date**_

I woke around eight thirty on Sunday morning, with a reasonably clear head. From down stairs I could hear the radio and my dad belting out random parts of a classic tune from Capitol Gold as he pottered around doing his household chores. The song I got this morning was My Girl by Otis Reading, this reminded me of when I used to help him with the housework, and we would dance around the kitchen he always told me that kitchens were meant for dancing! I reached for my phone and switched it on, the greeting screen lit up and my phone beeped to tell me I had two text messages and three missed calls:

The first from Becky:

**Hey**,** Lucie, just to let you know we're**

**home and ok, **

**I'll see you at work, I'm spending the day**

**with Dave and his parents and then we're going to visit Layla**.

**Hope you have a good day with Paddy**

**Let me know all about it tomorrow!**

**Luv ya, Becks**

**XxX**

The next from Aiden:

**Home safe, am at work. Giving your dad**

**the day off today.**

**Vanessa had loads of fun **

**and says thanks for a good night.**

**Catch you later Lucie.**

The generic tone of the voicemail person started, offering me the options. I listened to the messages and the voice mails were from Patrick

"Hello….Lucie it's Patrick.. I…. Ahh feck it!" there was a clattering sound on the other end of the phone line and the phone call ended.

In the next message, he sounded just as nervous,

"Right here goes …um I've err…Ahh Jaysus… don't be such a coward Paddy…. Just talk to her…!"

The third and final message was the most composed,

"Right I got back safe, so you don't have to worry. I hope you're ok and had a good night's sleep.…I've had a look at the film showings in the paper there's a matinée and an evening show, the choices are, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes or From Here to eternity_. _Both good films, what time do you want to go …I'll ring again soon so you can let me know…."

I listened to the second message again, and for some reason hearing Patrick fumble over his words somehow made him more endearing, he sounded vulnerable and I knew I wanted to know him. I was amazed that I still had that effect on another human being that the thought of me could render a man speechless. I put my phone on the bedside table, singing My Girl to myself as I headed to the bathroom. On the way, I passed my dad, who had just come upstairs with a cup of tea for me.

"Good _morning_, did you have a nice evening? Finally decided to surface then I see." He joked, handing me the tea.

I smiled back, "Morning to you too…thanks for the tea, will you leave it on my bedside table, please?"

My dad grinned, "Course I will, my darling… Ere, you're very perky this morning; it is nice to see you smiling for once. What's with the change of mood?"

I grinned further, "I had a really nice evening dad… and guess what!

"What?" He grinned, holding a hand up to stop me from telling him, "… No, no let me try, you robbed a bank and you're running away to start a new life in Australia?"

I laughed, "No, I wish…Patrick joined us last night and he's actually alright, and I'm planning to see him today."

He gasped and placed his hand on his chest in mock surprise, "Bleedin' hell Luce, are you trying to give me a heart attack! What are you two up to then?"

I grinned, unable to contain my excitement, "He's taking me to that drive-in movie exhibition, just outside of town."

My dad grinned, "Really? That sounds like fun honey; I told you that he was a decent human being. He always asks after you when he meets us in the pub after work…Well enjoy your afternoon."

My dad pulled me into a hug and kissed me on forehead. "It's really good to see you happy Lucie."

After I had I washed my hair, I returned to my room with my hair wrapped in a towel. My dad was sitting on the bed with a furrow between his brows somehow looking older.

"Are you ok dad?"

He sighed and shook his head, patting the bed for me to sit by him. I climbed on and pulled the duvet over my knees while I typed replies to Aiden and Becky.

"No, sweetheart, Sally says you were angry with her last night and you had another argument she also said something about you moving out?"

"Yeah, we argued last night, did she happen to mention what it was over?"

"She did and she said she's sorry. Lucie it was only a bottle of wine, which could be easily replaced. You however are not replaceable and I will not allow you to driven out of this house by Ryan. After I took him to A&E we had a chat and I asked him what he said to you, he said he made a joke about you and Alex and that you took it the wrong way."

I sighed and felt my brow furrow. I knew that last nights argument would have repercussions.

"What a load of bollocks!-"

"Lucinda mind your language young lady!"

"No dad! He laughed in my face, he actually laughed at me, he knew exactly what he was saying, and it wasn't the fact she drank that wine, I got angry because she was down stairs sharing it with Claire. I was saving that wine for your birthday. I wanted to do something nice for you, because I wouldn't have got through the last six months if I hadn't come back here to live."

"Oh Lucie…" my dad patted my knee. I took his hand and I played with his wedding ring the way I did when I was a little girl.

"Dad I've been a pain in the arse, and you've been too nice to me. Can you honestly tell me you are happy with us all at each other's throats…? I don't see Ryan going anywhere. I need to do this for me and especially for you and Sally before we end up hating each other."

"No we aren't happy Luce, and I've told Sally she was out of line for sharing that wine with Claire."

"Dad , she thought that if she allowed Claire in the house, that our relationship would go back to how it was and we'd all be friends again."

He glanced up at me over his glasses and the corner of his mouth twitched, "She told you all that?"

I nodded, "She also said that she tried to act as though the past six months never happened, because she thought that was the last thing I wanted to discuss."

"Well Lucie, I'm glad you've finally opened up to each other and you're right; we can't carry on like this. I also told him that there was no way I was allowing Claire back in this house while you're still here; and that if he wanted to continue with his relationship with her then he will do it without my and Sally's blessing. I don't like the girl after the way she treated you and the sooner he sees that the better we'll all be."

"He's going to keep seeing her though dad, can't you stop him from seeing her"

My dad shook his head, "Sweetheart it's not that simple, if you stop them from being together, then they'll find other ways of seeing each other."

He grinned, making a scoffing sound, "Luce what have to understand about Ryan is that he's so much like you so determined, but unlike you he craves attention, Sally and I are trying to make him see that his decision to continue this relationship with Claire is wrong, Ere Luce, Patrick aint got any single girl mates has he?"

My dad ruffled my wet hair and I laughed, "We're in this mess now cos I introduced him to Alex's sister, lesson already learnt…"

"Oh yeah." He hit his head with the palm of his hand

"So how are you trying to get him to break it off with Claire?"

"Well for a start she's not welcome in the house, I got him a full-time job at Burtons… you know the menswear shop?

I nodded and grinned

"Sally has decided to start a drama group at the weekends for kids and she's going to get Ryan involved in that… Oh and you remember Mel his best friend at school, she's getting involved too."

"Oh those two were inseparable, and I liked Mel…"

"Yeah so do Sally and me… he goes back to Drama College in the autumn, so between working at Burtons, helping Sally there won't be much time for him to see Claire."

I hugged him "Do you think he'll see what he's doing is wrong?"

"With any luck yes."

"Dad, about moving out, I'm not going because of Ryan I just need my space, after owning my own house, I like having somewhere to call my own…Please do you think I could rent one of the flats above the surgery until I find something more permanent?"

"Of course you can poppet; I'll give you a discount on the condition you come round for dinner once in a while." He chuckled softly and I hugged him tightly.

"Deal! Thank you dad for agreeing to this, I know these last few months have been hell for you and Sally, so hopefully we can get back some normality " I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

"That's what I'm here for Lucie, to protect you and to keep you happy. You know you will always be my little girl regardless of how old you get. Just you wait until you become a parent or ever adopt…. Being responsible for somebody so small and helpless is one of the scariest roles you will ever have and it doesn't get easier as you grow up. I would do just about anything to keep you lot out of harms way." He paused and grinned at me, "Although you wanted to protect us and take on the world from the moment you could talk!" I laughed with him, "Nothing prepared me for when you lot grew up and started families and relationships of your own. I see what goes on between Jo and Simon and Max and Sarah, Ryan and Claire and even when you were with Alex. I don't have a say in that part of your lives Lucie, because you are adults. You have to learn for yourselves and set your own boundaries… Lucie, if moving out is what you need to do then I'll do everything in my power to make it happen."

The emotion in his voice overwhelmed me. I swallowed the lump in the back of my throat and thanked him. I had never heard my dad talk this way before, usually he watches in the background quietly observing, when everything gets too much, he has a way of stepping in and making it all better. I suppose you would call it fathers' intuition.

"I don't tell you often enough how much I appreciate the job you do and the struggle you had with bringing us three up, you're my hero daddy!"

He wiped the tear from my cheek and his own eyes watered, "Aww stop it! I'm welling up here and I love you too princess, more than you'll ever know…. Now how did we get so mushy for a Sunday morning and it sounds to me as though you have a date to prepare for?"

I wiped my eyes on the sleeve of my dressing gown, "I know, who'd have thought I'd be spending time with Patrick of all people!" I was truly excited at the idea of spending time with him and my dad could hear it in my voice

"I bet he's bouncing off the walls, gawd bless him...Well Lucie, you've never followed the rules and if he gives you peace of mind then go for it!"

I stood up to open the wardrobe door so I could try on some outfits, and he playfully pushed me back down on my bed and left my room laughing to himself.

I stood up, opened my wardrobe, moving the coat hangers aside until I found my 1950's vintage dress. I bought the dress from a vintage shop on Carnaby Street while on a shopping weekend in London with Joanna and Becky. The dress was beautiful, made from baby blue cotton so soft from decades of wear I loved the way it felt against my skin. The bodice had a sweetheart neckline and a cross over effect on the bodice with royal blue brocade sewn to the edge. It had capped sleeves and royal blue brocade around the sleeves and the hem of the dress. I could imagine the effect that many petticoats would do to the skirt I wondered how the tulle would feel against my skin, the way they would flare out the skirt as I spun around under the arms of the man of my dreams as we danced in the moonlight.

My phone rang again, waking me from my daydream I glanced at the screen and did not recognise the number. Usually I don't answer my phone if I don't recognise the number, but I was expecting a phone call from Patrick and answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello its me Patrick, did you sleep well?"

"I did thank you, your first message made me smile when I heard it. What was that clattering sound?"

He chuckled,

"Ahh I was calling from a pay phone and I dropped all my change! It took me ages to dial your number; I think I called the same person three times"

"Oh dear Patrick" I giggled, "Well you managed in the end, so what's the plan for today?"

"That I did …I'm looking forward to seeing you Lucie." I smiled and my heartbeat quickened at the sound of his voice, Patrick continued to speak,

"Well they're both playing at the same time. You see there are two screens, so it depends on what you want to see."

I loved his Irish accent and could have listened to him speak all day. Patrick could have told me he boiled my pet rabbit and I would have melted! I needed to get a grip on myself,

"Ok then well if that's the case, couldn't we see the matinée of Gentlemen prefer Blondes and the evening of from here to eternity_… _so what time are you picking me up? It's nine o'clock now" I tried not to sound too desperate and tried to sound eager at the same time, I didn't want to scare him off.

Patrick chuckled "I'll call round for you at twelve thirty; the first film starts at one thirty. So I'll see you later."

"Yeah, see you later Patrick. Enjoy the rest of your morning, take care."

"I will, and you." Patrick hung up the phone.

I hunted for my bendy rollers, brushed and rolled up my damp hair.

I dressed and went downstairs where my two lovely nephews Isaac and Joseph bundled me as I reached the bottom step.

"Auntie Lucie!"

"Anney Ushee!"

The boys came rushing at me and I crouched down to catch them in my arms, scooping them together in a big bundle, the force sent me falling flat on my bottom! I moved and sat on the bottom step and Joseph and Isaac climbed on my knee.

"Hello my darlings! Are you both ok?"

"Auntie Lucie? Where's Tilly?" asked Isaac aged four, while my two-year-old nephew Joseph stared at the rollers in my hair, trying to grab one. I held onto his hand to prevent him from pulling my hair.

"Tilly's in the garden, do you want to see her." I asked Isaac.

Isaac nodded, grinning at me innocently, his auburn curls bouncing on his head. Joseph sat on my other knee, with his tiny fist clasping my thumb; I stroked the dimples on his little hand.

"So what have you been doing then? Have you had a fun holiday?"

"Ummm…. Yeah! Mummy and daddy took us to the zoo and we sawed big lions and monkeys and hito…hitoposumusses." Isaac declared, proudly with a board grin on his face.

I smiled tenderly; hippopotamus was a difficult word for a four-year old, too many syllables.

"Did you, my darling? And what was your favourite animal."

"The big lions and Joseph likes the monkeys cos they was being naughty." I laughed, as Joseph made monkey noises while sitting on my knee, I loved listening to Joseph, he is always so animated.

"Auntie Lucie, guess what?"

"I dunno Isaac, cold potatoes aren't hot!"

"No, silly Auntie Lucie!" He gave me a look far superior to his four years on planet earth! I smiled and let him continue

He bent in close and whispered in my ear, his breath and dribble tickling my ear "Joseph's got big boy pants on! And he hasn't done any haksidents. Mummy telled him not to and he can get a sticker!"

I gasped in surprise, "Wow! Is that what mummy told him. My goodness me, that is fantastic. Well done Joe, you clever boy." I gave Joseph a squeeze and he grinned broadly

"And my dot Uppa Daidy dickers."

"You have Uppsy Daisy stickers and Iggle Piggle too? Is that because you're my big boy now?" I asked reaffirming him

"Yeah! My dot Iggle Piggle and Pakka Pakka too!" Joseph told me proudly.

"Yeah and he got a chart to put them on if he does a wee-wee or a stinky in the potty. And I helped him cos I'm bigger." Isaac sounded extremely proud.

I gasped and kissed them both on their cheeks "Well done Joseph for learning to use the potty and well done Isaac for being the best big brother in the whole wide world. You've both made Auntie Lucie very happy."

Isaac jumped off my lap "Mummy, Daddy, Auntie Lucie's here and she's got funny fings in her hair!" He ran into the kitchen to see his parents and tell them about my funny hair

I picked Joseph up and carried him on my hip galloping into to kitchen to find the rest of my family, Joseph giggled uncontrollably, while being jiggled around on my hip. I found my brother and my dad, talking about rugby while leaning against the breakfast bar Max looked up and nodded his head. Max's usual greeting would be to grab me and place me in a headlock or punch me _softly _on the arm, but since I was holding his child, he thought better of it and I was grateful for that!

Ryan, my sister-in law Sarah and Sally were sitting in the conservatory; Sally was reading the Sunday supplements from the newspapers while Ryan told Sarah about a play he was performing in Drama College. I glanced at Ryan and noticed he had a black eye and a cut on the bridge of his nose, I stifled a snigger and Max noticed and winked at me. Ryan sighed and spoke louder than necessary, trying to provoke a reaction

"You see Sarah, I don't know if I'm going to be able to perform in the state that Lucie left my face, I may have to use the under study!" Max stopped chatting with my dad and stood in the doorway of the conservatory,

"Yeah well by the sounds of it Ryan, you got what you deserved, just a shame I wasn't at home, when are you going to wake up to yourself and dump that little-!"

"Max! Not in front of your sons!" Sally bellowed, peering over her magazine

I grinned slightly at Max and ignored Ryan, walking into the conservatory and sitting on the floor playing with Joseph.

Isaac was playing fetch in the garden with Tilly, every so often Sarah would glance up to make sure Isaac was safe.

After a while, I became bored with listening to Ryan drone on about his play and took Joseph into the garden and joined Isaac and Tilly in a game of fetch to ensure that Tilly did not become too boisterous. When it began to drizzle, I decided to go indoors and join my family, Isaac sat with Sarah and Sally took Joseph upstairs encouraging him to use the bathroom. Sarah handed her his potty and the stickers. Max looked over at me grinning, my dad and Sarah were shaking their heads warning Max not to say anything, true to form, he ignored them.

"So Luce, dad told us you're going on a date?"

I blushed, I was still unsure if spending the afternoon with Patrick was a date. I did like him but I wanted to see how the afternoon went before I decided.

"It's not a date Max. I'm spending the afternoon with a friend, that's all."

Max glanced at the rollers in my hair and stifled a laugh. "And you make this much effort for a _friend. _You're seeing a man aren't you?"

"Yep what you gonna do about it."

"Nothing , just wondered, who is he?"

"Just a bloke I met in the pub."

"Ohh Lucie, you got that look in your eye, you're on the pull."

"As much as I'd love to chat to you about this, I have to go and get ready."

"Yeah for your date with your mysterious lover boy."

I ignored Max and his teasing; I was so used to it by now, I picked up Isaac and fake whispered,

"Isaac do me a favour and never grow up to be like your daddy, he's a very silly man."

Isaac nodded and said, "Daddy I'm gonna put you in the bin, cos you're a smelly old poo-poo daddy."

I left as Sarah told Isaac for being cheeky to Max, to finish getting ready. Time for me to leave. At least being an auntie, I can give them back if they get too much. I don't do babies what so ever!

Patrick leant casually against a vintage car, talking to my dad. He was dressed in blue denim jeans with turn-ups and a pair of converse baseball boots, a fitted white t-shirt, and wearing the tan leather jacket from yesterday evening, looking, as though he had just stepped off the set of a Hollywood movie a mixture of James Dean, Paul Newman, and Elvis.

My heart thumped in my chest with the torrent of a waterfall. Excitement or nerves propelled me towards them.

Patrick handed me a bunch of lilac and soft pink roses with sprigs of lavender and white gypsophila in the bouquet the roses were expertly trimmed with the thorns removed.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of my car window and grinned. I was glad I decided to wear my blue dress and curl my hair. I remembered to keep my make up to a minimum, in keeping with the era the dress came from. I loved the early fifties fashion with the tea length dresses, pretty floral patterns and ditsy printed fabric. I loved the hair and the wholesome influences of Doris Day and the classic red lipstick and pin curl hair styles, made famous by many of the Hollywood starlets. The look was so feminine and suited my shape and figure. I think I should have been born earlier in the twentieth century so I could live the thirties, forties, and fifties for real.

Standing next to Patrick I thought we made a good match. I thanked Patrick for the roses and handed them to my dad who was grinning broadly. He gave me a hug and a kiss and told me to have fun. Patrick opened the door to his car. I climbed inside. Patrick nodded a quick goodbye to my father who waved at me before closing to the front door to our house.

Patrick climbed in beside me, and grinned,

"Lucie, you look stunning." I could not hide the blush from my cheeks.

"You look like Veronica Lake with your hair like that... timelessly beautiful... You know who she is don't you?"

I grinned and nodded. Still not being used to his chivalry, I blurted out

"Ha! This old thing, just something I found hanging around my wardrobe!" Taking in his perfection, I added, "And you. Well you don't scrub up too bad either…very James Dean." He gave me a cheeky but endearing smile and turned the key in the ignition and the engine started, we pulled off my drive, and headed down the road.

We drove onto a field with large cinema screens and up to a ticket booth; Patrick wound down his window and paid for the tickets and the attendant handed me a set of wireless speakers that I placed on the dashboard, then he directed us to our spot on the field. While we waited for the movie to start, I heard music playing through the speakers and recognised the song Be my baby by The Ronettes, I hummed softly to myself and gazed out of the window. The song seemed to be sending me a subliminal message of what I really wanted from Patrick and how I felt. Was I falling in love with him?

Patrick shook me from my revere, "Are you ok Lucie?"

"Huh!"

"Are-You-Ok?" he spoke slowly still smiling and holding his thumbs up, grinning briefly, I answered in the same tone and continued to stare out of the window, taking in all the sights and the atmosphere. There were all sorts of old cars, new cars, music playing from the sixties, people dressed up in fifties clothing, some in the full Grease regalia T-Bird and pink Ladies costumes galore. I think the event organisers mixed up their eras. Although none of that mattered to me, I was here with Patrick.

A group of teenage girls aged around seventeen/ eighteen, dressed in skinny jeans low-cut tops and caked in makeup were pointing and laughing at a fat woman dressed as Sandy while they leant on a sooped up Citroen Saxo. Meanwhile the woman stood chatting to an overweight version of Danny Zukco, oblivious to the girls who were trying to impress their boyfriends.

The music continued, Jonny Tollison sang,_ "Poetry in motion. See her gentle sway a wave out on the ocean would never move this way…"_

I watched as a couple in their mid sixties early seventies jive, behaving like teenagers. Patrick filled the silence with uneasy chatter. He was a bundle of nervous energy fiddling with the tickets, and bouncing his knee.

"Patrick are you ok?" I turned to face him and took his hand it was still freezing cold, like holding an ice-cube for too long. My hand began to ache slightly as the chill rose up my arm freezing me to the bone. Gently, I pulled away and rubbed my palms together.

"There's no need to feel nervous. I'm just enjoying the atmosphere, breathe, relax, I'm not going anywhere."

A song called Charming Billy started playing and I wanted to ease his nerves

"Will you dance with me?" as I tapped my foot in time to the beat, the song had an up-tempo beat and I wanted to dance. Patrick sounded shocked, "Err…I'm not sure; I haven't danced in a while!" He folded his arms we sat in silence as I watched a group of children jumping up and down excitedly in time to the music, as their parents smiled fondly, until the little girl knocked over the flask of juice onto their sandwiches, I looked away as the mother scolded her daughter.

I touched his arm, "Just follow my lead and you'll be fine."

He muttered something too low for me to hear.

We waited until charming Billy finished and we left the car, he took my hand and we began turning around in time to Everyday by Buddy Holly. We slowed our footsteps, and he held me at arm's length, while I pirouetted under his arms, then he held me closer… pulling me close and pushing me away, my dress flaring out around me, this was close to my daydream earlier, minus the sang the words in my ear, his cool breath sending shivers down my spine, his hands leaving tingly trails where he held me that lingered on my skin, making my knees turn to jelly.

The next song I recognised The Twist by Chubby Checker. Facing each other, we took each other's hand and began dancing, twisting our hips and bopping up and down, Patrick barely moved and let me dance around him and every so often would catch my hand and bring me in close or spin me away I showed him some of my cheesy dance moves, which made him laugh and calmed him further. I sang to him loudly and slightly out of time to the music, "C'mon Patrick, let's do the twist!" he place his fingers in his ears and chuckled at my craziness.

The final song in the interval was let it be me by the Everly Brothers and the fun-loving mood changed a new emotion between us became clear. Love in its purest form. In spite of everything that has happened, I was falling in love with Patrick and that scared me, what if he turned out to be just like Alex, what if he hurt me worse. I supposed I would never know if I never took the chance, he could be the one, but how could I know that just by dancing with a stranger, still I wanted to know more about the man who had been so kind to me the previous evening. Nothing I felt now compared to what I felt when I believed Alex loved me. Still I couldn't admit to him I was falling in love, he would think I was crazy, love at first sight doesn't exist, not in the real world, not in a world where people can hurt you.

With Patrick and I swaying to the music, I rested my head on his shoulder and felt a tear rolling softly down my cheek. I cried for love I lost with a man who I thought was my forever, the unknown and for the happiness, I thought I would never find again. I had never once considered that I was looking in all the wrong places, and the one person that I had disregarded was the one holding me close and moving in time with me to this beautiful melody. As the song ended, Patrick handed me his white cotton handkerchief from the pocket of his jacket.

"I thought I would need this again. Are you ok?"

Patrick took my hand in his cold grasp and led me back to the car.

"I…I think so." I dabbed my eye with the handkerchief.

"Patrick I… I think I… it doesn't matter…I…." I stopped myself before I said too much.

"Do you want to go home; we could do this another time?"

He pulled me into his embrace, all apprehension diminishing, as he soothed away my tears.

"No, I'll be fine, I haven't done this kind of thing for a while, I think I'd like to see you again."

"Oh… Umm, you have no idea how happy and relieved I am to hear that"

We leant together on the bonnet of the car, as Buddy Holly True love waits played in the background.

"I thought it was something I had done… I never thought that this day would come. So I haven't upset you?" Patrick gazed at me, his eyes burning with anticipation he must feel the same.

I looked at the ground; this was too intense, for some reason I felt I could tell Patrick anything, with him I could not hide or use the past as an excuse.

"No you haven't upset me, I never thought I would be slow dancing with you and I'm a little afraid."

"What are you afraid of?" Patrick sounded unsure, a nervous edge returning to his tone.

I sighed, "Of where this is going to lead… I hardly even know you, Patrick. And it's so soon after Alex; you must understand that after what I told you. I don't know if I'm ready for a full on relationship."

Gently, he took my face in his hands making me look at him "Lucie we don't have to do anything you're not ready for, I'm not Alex and I will never hurt you_!"_

The intense emotion we shared last night was back in full force, and I rested my head on his shoulder, Patrick spoke softly to me, "We can go at any pace you want. I'm in no hurry and I don't want to scare you away not now, not ever." He paused and I gazed at him, wiping the tears that gently fell, he kissed my forehead

"I should be thanking _you_ Lucie for making _me _the happiest man in existence. I promise we'll get to know each other over time, and when we do we'll have done it together, because with you by my side anything is possible!"


	5. Revelations

_**Revelations**_

The opening scene started and Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell appeared in full Technicolor wearing red sequins dresses with slits up to their thighs, dancing gracefully across the cinema screen. I snuggled up to Patrick and he placed his arm around my shoulder, he sighed with contentment gently resting his head on mine as we watched the film in a blissful silence.

When the scene where Marilyn performs Diamonds are a girls' best friend, I sang along with the first verse, that's all I knew. I knew those musical nights with Sally would one day come in handy and secretly I thanked her!

Patrick looked at me smiling

"I didn't know you knew the words to this, I thought it would be too old-fashioned for a modern girl like you."

I laughed, gazing into his golden eyes. "What are you talking about Patrick; anyhow, you were the one who suggested coming here.

"This is one of _the_ most iconic scenes in the film, and I'm not _that_ young, you're two years younger than me, remember. So you should be even hipper and trendier than I am."

"Yeah, I suppose so." He did not meet my eyes and began muttering under his breath.

At the interval, the music began again Tom Jones; Just help yourself, I left twisting my hips to the music as I left Patrick. I could feel his gaze follow me as I walked away. We sat together while I ate my chips chatting and laughing, and my lame attempt at a joke, I had just told Patrick to help himself to my chips while singing along to Tom Jones in the background, Patrick groaned and told me not to give up my day job. We covered all subjects from Patrick's' favourite pastimes, to books, films and his occupation where he told me he was a landscape gardener. We were getting along so well, I decided to up the tempo slightly by flirting. At first, I felt ridiculous, When he reciprocated, his response gave me a huge boost to my self-confidence and my ego to boot. I grinned to my self and thought, yep Lucie you still got it!

I asked Patrick about his childhood, what bought him to live here in England. He avoided the question and made a joke, the way he did when he gave me his jacket last night. There was something he was not saying, something he was hiding. I needed answers if we were going to go any further with this relationship. I thought back to the conversation we had last night where he told me he lived on Brownsea Island. He claimed to live on an island that had not been inhabited since before the Second World War and I was certain that the National Trust owned Brownsea Island. Again, this confused me. Why would he lie about where he lived, nothing made sense? What puzzled me most of all was the chill of his skin; the kind of cold that froze into your bones and lingered on your skin. This fact out of everything was the one that bothered me the most and I needed to know why. I had been open with him about how I felt and now it was Patrick's' turn to be honest with me.

"Patrick, something about you has me curious and I was wondering if you could tell me about it?"

He looked up from the cinema screen and nodded. Now I had his attention I was unsure how to ask what I wanted, I stammered as I tried to speak. Patrick waited anticipating my question, I could not meet his gaze; I focused on Jane Russell as she performed her solo number "_Ain't there anyone here for love…"_ She sang through the speakers and on the screen she danced with athletic men while they did push-ups and squats.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

My heartbeat quickened. I took a deep breath and went for it, "Yesterday evening, when I asked you about why you felt so cold, you made a joke about it. Why do you do that…. is…err… Is that normal?"

"Is what normal, Lucie?" he gave me a look of bewilderment

"Your body temperature. You're never warm and it doesn't seem to bother you, why?"

He laughed with apprehension, "I am normal…well for me anyway." He grinned and continued speaking,

"I made the joke, because you will never believe the truth and I want to protect you for a while. As you know, I don't have many friends and there aren't many people I trust. I don't want to get too close to anybody in case I hurt them."

He still had not answered my question; I shook my head, trying to mask my frustration,

"That makes no sense at all, I asked you why you are cold and you gave me a totally different answer to a question I never even asked."

Patrick glanced anywhere but in my direction, squirming in his seat.

"Well because…I….Ahh Lucie, I've done terrible things in the past. Things I'm not proud of...you see Lucie what you have to understand is that we are different."

I frowned as different scenarios entered my mind. What if he was on the run from the law or maybe he was a member of the Irish mafia. I couldn't imagine anything that this lovely, mild-mannered, funny, charming man could have done that would call for him to feel so uncomfortable, but then we all have a past and skeletons, don't we…?

"Patrick, if this is too difficult to talk about then you don't have to answer."

"I'll tell you, but you may not like what you hear…" Patrick placed his head in his hands, rubbing his hands over his face, raking his hands through his neat hair, making it stand on end.

Nothing prepared me for what he said next, "Ahh Jaysus…. Lucie I'm not human."

I did a double take, again frowning, "What do you mean you're not human?"

"Lucie, I'm a vampire."

The film continued, "_When love goes wrong, nothing goes right…_"

* * *

><p>I laughed loudly and hysterically "Yeah ok Patrick, nice try now tell me the truth!"<p>

Patrick grinned; he still had the nervous edge to his tone. "That is the truth Lucie I am a vampire"

I shook my head in disbelief, "You can't be…Vampires don't…. this is crazy. Don't lie to me!"

Patrick moved close to me, looking me in the eye, he was serious, he truly believed what he was saying. There was no hint of a mischievous twinkle in his eye, no shy smile, nothing remained of the Patrick I flirted and danced with hours ago.

"Lucie I am a vampire. I am not lying to you!"

I sat statue still, saying nothing. I knew I was right about him. I should have never listened to my dad or Becky! I had lost the ability to move!

"Say something Lucie, please?"

Patrick moved closer trying to close the distance between us. I shook my head and moved further away fumbling for the car door handle. Shock was an understatement for my feelings now, try astounded or even struck dumb by this new twist to our tale I wanted to get out of the car and as far away from him as possible!

"What the fucking hell do you want me to say Patrick! You expect me to believe that you are a vampire!"

I stared at him; he must have thought I had come down in the last shower, a complete moron!

"Yes. That is exactly what I am, and there is nothing I can do to change it. But what hasn't changed is how I feel about you."

I glared at him, my eyebrows knitting together in confusion, "No! Don't you….Holy shit Patrick! You're truthfully telling me that you're not human and you're sticking to that?"

"Yes!" He hissed, he did not shout and that is always worse to hear than a roar of rage, he glared at me keeping his voice dangerous and low,

"I am a vampire, you need to believe me. There is no alternative truth Lucie. And will you please stop using such profanities, it's very unbecoming!"

This was ludicrous, how can I allow myself to be hoodwinked by another man! More to the point a crackpot who claims to be one of the undead!

"I WILL SAY WHAT THE FUCK I LIKE!" Bashing my fist on the dashboard

"Well if it's true I want you to prove it?"

Patrick stared at me, shocked by my temper; he spoke to me in a firm voice and looked me directly in the eye.

"I can't do that Lucie; we are drawing enough attention to ourselves as it is…. And I will say no more until you have calmed down and stopped using vulgar language!"

I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself, I wanted to know the truth.

"I don't think we need to worry about my use of language Patrick… you promised, you would never lie to me! How do I know you're telling the truth?"

"Just trust me," He hissed through gritted teeth

I was astounded that I was still sitting in the car, I searched for the door handle again trying to escape, my hands were shaking though a mixture of rage and fear I couldn't function.

"Well you shouldn't exist! You're not real!" I pinched my arm to see if I was dreaming and felt the pain from my pinch.

"I do exist, I'm as real as you can get – and before you wormed this piece of information out of me we were having a lovely afternoon, and I haven't forgotten you said you wanted to see where this leads!"

"Don't you dare blame me for this; you were the one who fucking told me! When you said you had done some terrible things, I never in my wildest dreams imagined this, I could have coped if you had told me you had a criminal record, or part of the Irish mafia, but not you being imortal….I don't understand!"

I laughed again mainly out of fear and confusion, "Fucking vampires!" I said to myself once I gained semblance.

I shook my head, trying to remove the image from my mind of the dream I had the night before the show jumping contest; and how close he resembled the image from my dream, had I know all along.

" …. But this… this… you… this is ridiculous. In fact, it's worse" I laughed again, mocking him, "And I thought I was messed up Patrick. You think you're immortal!"

The old couple who were dancing earlier walked past Patrick's' car and looked through the window. They stared at us, shaking their heads, most probably complaining about the noise He hissed giving me a steely glare, I took heed of his warning this time, the expression on his face suggested to me he was telling the truth and could cause me harm. He started the engine of his car and my heart sped up, he is going to drive off with me in the car and I will never see my family again! I am not a religious person but in this circumstance, I said a silent prayer, he glared at me again, I recoiled from him and wanted to hide like a child… Just close your eyes and he will disappear, but he continued talking in the same dangerous tones.

"Lucie, shut up! I will not tell you again to keep your voice down, ridicule me all you like, so long as you stop shouting!" Then to himself, he muttered,

"Maybe I should have waited until we were completely alone."

"Yeah _really_?" I added acerbically more out of protection for me, I felt like an animal trapped in a snare, my natural instincts kicked in and I was in fight or flight mode. I had no chance of winning but I chose to fight.

Patrick ignored my comment, more proof that I had no hope in hell of surviving this. I narrowed my eyes, and stared at him defiantly, but remained quiet. Against my better judgement, I needed to hear what he had to say, if this was the only truth he was providing me. A vampire. A bloody vampire of all things!

Calmly and quietly, I asked, "How long have you been this way then?"

Patrick took a deep breath, calmly, he explained,

"I was born in 1914 and changed in 1942 aged 28. I have been this way for seventy-two years. There are some of my kind who are thousands of years old, we just carry on."

I was still unsure if he was telling me the truth. There was no way he could be making this up. Patrick would have to be delusional or have a vivid imagination to go into such detail, then there was the pallor of his skin and the golden amber glow in his eyes, the hardness of his body and the freezing temperature of his skin, how could he lie about his physical appearance. I stared at him, taking in every detail; he waited for me to answer.

"You aren't making this up are you, and this isn't a joke, so you cannot die?" I was an Idiot!

He shook his head solemnly, "No Lucie. So now do you believe me?"

"I don't know…I….I think so…" He heaved a sigh; I took in the hopeful glint in his eyes and added,

"I may believe some of what you are saying, but that doesn't mean I trust you. I just don't understand how you can't be human."

He nodded. "Ok. I suppose that's understandable… I'll try to explain if you give me a chance, please will you stay with me, please try not to be afraid, I can hear your heart hammering in your chest…" He muttered something again and rubbed his face, then turned to face me with a sombre expression I nodded

"Jaysus. I wish this were a joke…. I did die, I died in 1942… and only another vampire could end my existence. Any human method is ineffective. Like the stake through the heart and so on…."

"So….What so you're like bullet proof? And there are more of you out there?"

He gazed out of the window speaking softly, "Somewhere in the world…and yes you could say that I'm bulletproof. You've felt the hardness of my body if I wanted to I could snap you like a twig."

Patrick was talking about killing me as though we were discussing the weather and I had nowhere else to go in the car, I could not open the door to escape, because my hands were shaking. I tensed up and made my self as small as possible. So much for working on the trust. He shook his head, as though trying to shake certain thoughts away, "but I don't want that. That was un-gentlemanly of me, please forgive me."

"I'm still not sure Patrick this is a lot to take in."

"Please Lucie believe me… think of how I feel to you, and I still stand by what I said. I love you and I will do everything in my power to prevent me from hurting you."

As he spoke there was sincerity oozing from every word - slowly I uncurled from my defensive pose and started to relax.

"So … So …err is it _true _then and you love me?" My voice barely a whisper, how could he still love me? He wasn't human!

He nodded answering my question. "Always." He whispered softly gazing at me with his amber eyes. Patrick tried to take my hand; I shook my head.

I needed time to process the information, that he loved me, time to understand I lived in a world where monsters existed and not humans or the kind of monsters that dwell in your dreams. Real monsters, ones that had the potential to kill you or change your existence. We sat in silence. From here to eternity was half way through. The lead male and female actors were cavorting on the beach in their famed kissing scene.

I stared at the screen not really seeing or caring about my surroundings. The only thing I was aware of was Patrick sitting beside me, gazing at me, I watched him from my peripheral vision as he opened his mouth to speak and thought better of it, he did this several times I had lost interest in the film after this revelation, time passed slowly and I wanted to go home. Patrick broke the silence, dragging me back into reality. I will never understand what made me hold out my hand for him to take, but for whatever reason, I did. I supposed I heard something in his voice that made me trust him, saw something in his eyes that made me see he was telling the truth. A mutual physical attraction that willed me to stay in the car and hold onto the pieces of Patrick that I saw earlier, the pieces of the man who I was falling I love with.

Despite my calm exterior, I was petrified; Patrick sensed my fear and spoke softly to me, "I'm so sorry I don't mean to scare you. I know how strange this must be for you… I wonder… do you think we could go back to how we were earlier, before I told you what I am?" he beamed at me as I nodded my head,

"I think we can do that, so long as you make no sudden movements, Patrick. By the way, I'm sorry I swore at you."

He chuckled, "Don't worry, I've heard worse language. You are in shock and fear does strange things to people, try to relax. I promise I won't move a muscle and I won't come any closer."

He grinned again and his expression lit up his beautiful features "You can't be comfortable scrunched up like that?"

Slowly, I let go of my knees and placed my feet on the floor, Patrick sat rigid in the drivers' seat as I made myself comfortable again, and I put on my cardigan and rubbed my arms to stay warm. We came to a shared silence, and a vision popped into my mind of me kissing Patrick and I wanted that to happen more than anything. I seemed to have lost the ability to think before I spoke. Before I could stop myself, I asked,

"Patrick, what would happen if I tried to kiss you?" To add to my embarrassment I could feel the heat rise in my cheeks as I blushed like a beacon. Patrick beamed with happiness and turned to face me, the twinkle in his eyes appeared again, making me fall deeper. "Well that would depend on whether you have a death wish, my darling, do you?"

I shook my head, "I don't think so, I'm just curious."

He smiled, showing a row of perfectly white razor-sharp teeth. Not a pair of fangs in sight! His eyes flashed with mischief, and an impish grin appeared on his face,

"Well, I've heard that curiosity can land you into all kinds of trouble my lovely. For future reference, my teeth can cut through steel like scissors cutting paper. Now if they could do that to metal think of what they could do to you, and what that will mean if I were to slip and catch you here…" Patrick brushed an icy finger across my jugular. I froze half fear and half desire, his caress sending delicious shivers down my spine as though he knew where to touch me to drive me wild. He gazed at me, the warmth of his topaz eyes scorching my soul.

"…One bite and I could change your existence, or wipe you off the face of the earth. You don't want to live like me do you?"

I exhaled a ragged breath, trying to gain some composure, "I…I don't think so…So does that mean no kissing?" I tried to disguise the disappointment from my voice.

Patrick sensed this and chuckled, "For now yes, Lucie. Until I can figure out a way to kiss you safely. I am sorry to disappoint you, but these feelings are new to me too, I haven't loved another since…. You don't need to know that."

He paused, and sadness marred his beautiful face. Patrick held out his hand for me and I took it, He continued speaking in the soft tones he used earlier, "You have awakened a side of me that I believed had died along with my humanity, so thank you."

I did not answer, but smiled at his sincerity, for the first time I believed him.

"Are you truly ok, though? I'm not like other vampires, scouts honour."

I smiled softly and spoke quietly, "I think so, I will admit this is the most surreal first date I've ever been on. I mean it's not every afternoon you spend it with a…." I was unable to finish the sentence

"Vampire" he finished for me, "No I can agree with you there. I mean, it isn't every day I come this close to a human… I had a feeling I may suffer today with being in such close proximity to you, which is why I overfed. I feel a little sloshy actually…good job I cannot vomit!" He chuckled and the stopped when he saw the look of revulsion on my face

"Sorry I don't mean to be so candid about my condition. You are the first human I have ever told, and I'm breaking all kinds of laws by telling you"

He sat quietly and then out of the blue said,

"It looks to me as though we've missed the second film look Jane Russell and Marilyn Monroe are on-screen again, shall we get going?" he put the key in the ignition and started the engine before I could answer.

I shook my head trying to fathom how we ended up having a normal conversation, after telling me he was a vampire. "Ummm…Ok –Thanks for your honesty… I think." I smacked my forehead and groaned out of frustration, "… nothing makes sense Patrick… where are your fangs? "Shouldn't you have fangs and be allergic to garlic? Why are you out during the day? Normal vampires explode into a pile of ashes! And do you sleep in a coffin?"

Patrick glanced in my direction, he laughed, "Jaysus you really are one of the most curious little creatures I've ever encountered. Don't get angry, I'll tell you ok." I nodded and he tried to take my hand again, I kept them folded and hid then under my arms

"All the things that you believe about vampires are a myth. The myth about the sun is probably the only half-truth. I'll show you one day… and I don't sleep at all, I haven't slept in nearly seventy years" He chuckled again

I half smiled, he seemed entertained by the fact that I was learning about what he was,

"What… so you just exist, you have no sense of night and day?"

He grinned and laughed heartily, "Of course I do. I'm not a savage who lives in perpetual darkness, like some of my kind Lucie. I know what time of the day it is, although time holds a different meaning for me now because I have too much. I go by the seasons; I use the change in the climate to tell me when to move on."

"So where do you go?"

"Anywhere where the day light hours are sparse. Generally, I don't come back to Dorset until the autumn or winter. I am breaking my own personal rule by coming back to Dorset in the summer."

"Why?"

"Because you came back to live with your parents in February, I stayed to get to know you. I never see summer in Dorset."

This struck me as strange; I tried to hide the shudder that ran down my spine. "Ok, but why did you want to know me in particular, I mean I'm nothing special and what do you do with all this spare time, Patrick?"

"You are, Lucie. You have no idea how special you are to me…." He beamed at me, giving me the same charming smile I was growing accustomed to.

"To pass the time away I read, I've studied botany and plant life… all kinds of things really, anything else"

"Yep, this one's kind of important. Why are you able to be in my company without killing me?

"I could still kill you, but I will try to curb my strength around you, you're slightly safer because I don't feed on humans… otherwise you wouldn't be sitting here. I changed my diet fifty years ago and I feed on animal blood. I'm the only vampire I know of in Great Britain who has this kind of diet."

Something occurred to me; maybe Patrick was responsible for killing those animals in my field. Bile rose in my throat as fear resurfaced, fear for my animals at the stables and for Tilly!

"So was it you then?"

Patrick stared at me in bewilderment, "Err… was what me?"

"You said you feed on animals, and I found a horse dead in my field a few months ago, and some dead foxes and a monk jack deer weeks after. Did you kill those animals?"

He nodded, there was no denial in his movements, I stared at him in astonishment, at least he could have tried to deny it or try to soften the blow, I was beginning to realise that Patrick may be as honest as they come. Some how this made everything feel ten times worse. In this circumstance, I didn't know what was worse, the thought of him draining the blood of humans or animals. However, the thought of both petrified me because no living creature was safe from Patrick and since I was in more imminent danger than an unsuspecting deer or Joe Blogs from around the corner, my fear for the situation escalated and displayed as anger.

Anger at myself for placing myself in danger, and anger at Patrick for trespassing on my land and killing one of my horses, still I was going to fight to the end.

"Oh right! So _you're_ the one who's responsible for the depletion of Britain's wild life" I laughed dryly, "And there's me thinking it was down to the urbanisation of rural areas."

Patrick shook his head, he had lost the warmth in his eyes as he glared at me, "No, that has nothing to do with me! _You_ humans have seen to that! I know, why don't you club some baby badgers to death or chop down some more forests, I'm sure you don't have enough housing" his tone thick with derision. I stared at him, there was no way Patrick was going to make me feel inferior,

"But _you _don't help matters by feeding on what's left living naturally in the wild"

My argument felt weak, because the alternative for him was to feed on humans, which placed me on his food chain. He stared at me using the same cynical tones, the corner of his mouth twitching as though he found this hilarious,

"So what do you suggest I do, kill _more_ humans and add a few more to my already high death toll?"

I said nothing because he had a point, he laughed with no humour, mocking me,

"I thought as much. Because if that is what you want, then I'll happily oblige!"

"Please…" I whispered, petrified into a state of stillness, he shook his head and glared at me

"You sit there judging me, when there is nothing I can do about what I have become. You have no idea of the effort it takes to stop me from leaping at you and ending your life…! Every second you spend with me puts you at risk! If you think I want your blood on my conscience for the rest of my sorry existence, you are very much mistaken"

Again, I was silent, I could hear the sound of my heart hammering in my chest, making it clear that I was the only thing living. Patrick was silent and still. I recoiled from him drawing my knees up to my body trying to stay as small as possible and I shook my head

"No, I'm sorry, please don't hurt me. Why do you choose animals?" My voice was barely a whisper

He hissed and turned so quickly, his movements put the fear of god in me, "I feed on animals _Lucie_ because I want to be different!"

Trembling with fright, I continued to speak, "Patrick, I'm sorry, I had no idea you were so miserable. Could I ask you something, did those animals suffer, when you killed them?"

He stared at me impassively; the dead look in his eyes chilling me to the core. "Why do you care?"

I felt my chin tremble as a wave of tears began to fall, "I… I work with animals everyday. My dad is a vet and me being a veterinary nurse, I have a duty of care to all animals and I would hate the thought of them suffering in pain."

Patrick handed me his handkerchief and spoke calmly,

"Lucie, I am a predator. There is no denying that fact." He sighed, rubbed his hands over his face, and looked directly into my eyes, the warmth returned, as he took in my expression,

"Ahh, Jaysus Christ, this never occurred to me that you would find my diet so terrible, that horse wasn't a pet was it?" He asked and I shook my head.

"Sweetheart, those animals did not suffer, they had a quick death, I made sure of it. I promise they did not feel a thing." I nodded to show I understood.

I wanted to rewind to the start of the day where we first set off in the car, back to when I believed vampires existed in books and films and my only problem was getting over a broken heart. I gazed at Patrick, taking in every detail from his white flawless skin, to the hairs on his arms and the purple bruise-like shadows under his eyes, how could I have believed that he was human, everything was so confusing. I wiped my tears on his handkerchief and shuddered a deep breath, "I can't do this, Patrick, I just want to go back to how it was earlier…."

"So do I sweetheart, but unfortunately, we can't…. I may be a mythical creature, but I am no miracle worker. Tell me how you are feeling and I'll try to answer you as truthfully as possible."

"I' m having trouble with understanding that you look so human. You think and act like a human on the surface, but there's something dangerous about you, and you have admitted that you could kill me, how can you guarantee that I will stay safe."

He stared at me earnestly "You will not come to any harm by my hand. You have my word. Lucie, what you are feeling now are your natural instinct kicking in. Call it fight or flight if you will …" he grinned broadly,"…you have a lot of fight in you." Patrick reached out for my hand, I folded my arms, I did not want him to touch me; he continued speaking in the same tone,

"You are correct in thinking that I am dangerous, even more so to you. Everything about me is designed to lure you in and make you easy prey. which is why you are sitting here…. If you could peel back this hard exterior, then you would find the real me, the monster with in. As I said earlier, I am different, to others of my species. I cannot think of anything worse than hurting you. Please believe me."

I remained silent. how many times today would this sickening fear keep resurfacing, just when we resolve one issue another rears up. Patrick turned to look at me still speaking in the calm tones he used earlier.

"As a natural scientist you must understand that every living creature has to eat, you included. Would you have an issue with my feeding habits if I were a tiger or even a shark, they are predators just like me."

I laughed at the irony of this conversation. I was receiving a natural history lesson from a vampire. This day got stranger by the minute.

"Yes, but as a sentient being, you are able to rationalise, and think before you sink your teeth into my neck or any other place, you so desire." I was unsure if I imagined it but a look of yearning flashed in is eyes "In the animal kingdom the predator prey relationship is one of balance. Tigers and sharks hunt on instinct, they do not stop to think '_Oh I won't eat Lucie toady; I think I'm in love with her_'." Patrick grinned, as I mimicked his accent."More to the point, even predators stand little chance of survival against you."

He laughed, giving me the cheeky grin I was beginning to love, "Point taken. So where does that leave us?"

I sighed, feeling emotionally exhausted. I massaged my temples and could feel a headache brewing. " You need blood to exist, so long as you stick to your diet of animals, stay off my land and source your prey else where, I will say no more!" _Hypocrite! Just because he's young Irish and sexy, just ignore animal cruelty why don't you!_ A voice told me subconsciously.

"Well that's just grand, so what do you want to do now?" Asked Patrick bringing me back to the present.

What I wanted to do was get out of the confines of the car, stretch my legs and walk for miles, as far along the coast line as I could go as far as lands end if it would rid me of the cocktail of fear and desire I felt for Patrick. I suggested we go back to my house so I could change into something warmer and then go for a walk along the coast, or play spot the tourist in Poole Harbour. Patrick nodded and started the engine we drove down the twisting turning country lanes of the Devonshire coast. I gazed out of the window watching the countryside whiz past me in a blur of green and grey. A refreshing breeze blew up from the coast and I inhaled the salty air. The breeze helped me to clear the fog in my brain giving me a clear perspective, making me wonder how I could be so naïve to involve myself in Patrick's existence.

There was on denying I was in too deep, if Patrick was telling me the truth and there were more vampires roaming around, how could he guarantee my safety and what about my family, has he told my dad and Becky about what he is, I mean are they as captivated with him as I am… how safe are they?

Patrick needs to be around others his own kind, he cannot carry on existing the way he does, How could I convince him of this fact without hurting his feelings or sounding as though I was telling how to exist.


	6. Others

_**Others**_

My dad was on the phone when Patrick and I walked through the front door. Seeing and hearing my dad carry on as normal made me feel safe and relaxed, allowing me to continue with the most surreal day of my entire life. Dad looked up over the top of his glasses, phone in one hand and his beaten up copy of Blacks Veterinary dictionary open on his knee.

"Oh bloody hell, that woman is a jobs worth. Aiden pay no attention to her …" I had to laugh because my dad gossips with Aiden worse that I do with Becky!

"….Yeah precisely I know. When she gets her diploma in veterinary medicine then she can question your professionalism… so what were the results from the ultrasound?" He sucked air through his teeth and sighed heavily. My dad flicked though his book, and found the page he was looking for.

"…Hmmm, sounds like poor Fluffy has pyometra. Get Carly to contact Mrs Faraday and we'll prepare Fluffy for surgery first thing Monday morning. Oh and tell Carly to reiterate the importance of a healthy diet and neutering her animals…sooner rather than later Aiden…

"Yes… It's a straightforward ovariohysterectomy….she's your client, so you're doing the surgery, I'll assist and advise… Yep sure…I was going anyway" He laughed and glanced at Patrick and me standing in the hallway "…Lucie's just walked in with Patrick….I know, I know, was she now…? … That girl of mine." he laughed again, "…Yep see you tomorrow. Bye Aiden."

I glanced at Patrick blushing, I shook my head and he chuckled. My dad greeted us both with a welcome grin. We had a quick chat and he asked us what we were up to, because determined as ever, dad wanted to make the most of the light summer evenings and was having another barbeque. I think this is the third this week and at the rate he is going, there will be no animals left to grind down into burgers!

I told him we were on our way out after I had changed into something warmer and then asked for the keys to the beach hut. He unhooked the keys from the notice board and handed them to me. My dad reminded me I had work in the morning and told me not to be too late home I rolled my eyes and told him not to fuss then left Patrick and my dad to change. I headed downstairs and into the kitchen and Patrick had a beer bottle in his hand, grinning, while talking to my dad and Sally, looking perfectly normal and very human.

Sally was gaping at Patrick while he spoke to my father. With Patrick totally oblivious to Sally and her blushing as she fanned herself with a leaflet. I had a feeling the blush in her cheeks were not down to a menopausal hot flush! I wanted to rush him out of the house to save him from ogling glances from my stepmother, who should know better.

* * *

><p>We were sitting together on the deck of my beach hut on Sandbanks beach; I held a cup of hot chocolate in my hands and the surroundings had me relaxed as Patrick and I chatted with ease. I listened to the cawing seagulls in the distance, the ebb and flow of the sea as it whooshed against the shore. I felt the fresh salty breeze on my face, and noticed the outline of the sun illuminating the clouds, casting heavenly beams of light that glittered off the sea. All these things felt familiar and gave me comfort in a world where things were not what they seemed.<p>

Patrick gazed at me as I took a sip of my drink; I met his gaze and smiled,

"I'm sorry about Sally by they way, that must have been uncomfortable for you."

"Ahh, no, don't worry about it, I'm used to the stares. Humans are curious by nature… although I notice that females stare at me more than the males do, I wonder why that is."

I giggled and touched his arm, "You aren't that aware of yourself are you. Do you realise women find you attractive. Including my bloody stepmother… I mean look at you"

He sounded surprised by this revelation, he grinned at me with a coy expression, "Do they." I nodded, unable to speak

"I wonder… does that include you too?"

"Yes" I whispered, I blushed and my heart sped up. Patrick sat statue still, there was no denying he heard my heart too, he grinned

"So that blush in your cheeks and the hammering of your heart are not because you're afraid… you …You want to be with me?"

Finally, I found my voice, "Yes Patrick I want to be with you. I don't know how to explain how I feel, because I am afraid too."

He shook his head, "Ahh no, please. I don't want you to be afraid of me. Lucie, is it the diet or because I'm not human?" he misunderstood what I had said and I shook my head,

"Well partly but this is a different feeling… I" what I wanted to say was, _I am falling for you Patrick, I think I love you but I can't tell you, it's too soon!_

I took a deep breath, trying to stem the mixture of fear and desire from my voice. "I'm scared that you'll disappear before I have a chance to see where this leads. The part of me that wants to know you is overruling the part that wants to stay away, and I…. I don't know if I have the will to fight any more."

The intensity between us returned, I had not realised we were sitting so close until Patrick reached out and brushed a stray hair off of my face, leaving tingly sensations that lingered on my skin, not wanting to break the connection between us, I held onto his hand.

"That's it don't fight Lucie, I'll tell you something… I am afraid too, because this could end so badly if we let it… I cannot take that risk… not with you." He sighed

We sat in silence again, and I laid my head on his shoulder, a bold move for me considering I had spent most of the afternoon cowering in the car. I did not want to be afraid anymore. I held onto the nicer parts of the day, like the dancing the flirting, the fleeting glances and the laughter we shared and the intensity that would not go away no matter how hard I tried to ignore my feelings.

A while later, we headed inside the beach hut to shelter from the wind and snuggled together on my old futon, wrapped in a duvet I asked,

"How did it happen? I mean how did you become a vamp….vampire?"

"I was bitten, Lucie." He spoke with a voice as soft as a breeze

"Do you know the vampire?"

Patrick lifted his head from mine, "No, the one who changed me didn't identify themselves, it just happened."

"So, where were you when you were bitten?"

He took a deep breath and I moved away to see his face which was a mixture of sorrow and lament. I listened as he took me on his journey from human to vampire.

"Malta, September 1942. I was in the Navy and we had been sent with a fleet of 50 ships as well as the submarine division to gain ownership of the Island from the Italians and the Nazis. My fleet we were in Malta for a year and we were coming towards the end of our time in service before we sailed back to Portsmouth… I couldn't wait to get back home…." He paused, looking distant, lost in an unknown memory

"At first, I didn't know I had been bitten, I thought I'd been shot. I was only on land for a day. I stayed where I fell, hoping the pain would go away... and then the fire began to spread through my body while I lay there screaming in agony. Every inch of me felt the burn." A deadened look crept into his eyes, marring his beautiful face. I shuddered and took a deep breath.

"Wasn't there anyone there to help you?" My voice was barely a whisper, I knew Patrick would hear me; he shook his head in answer to my question.

"No. Nobody heard me. It was the dead of night…. At dawn, an air raid began showering the city with bombs, the loud roars of plane engines and the missiles that fell on Valetta drowned out my worst screams. I took shelter in a derelict building and every time the building shook I hoped it would collapse and crush me to death…anything was better than suffering like this… and then the medics found me lying where I fell…"

"What did they do, could they help you?" I sniffed and wiped my eye

He shook his head sadly, "No darling they couldn't. It was too late for me. The medics thought I was dead and took me to a makeshift hospital and they left me in the mortuary. I was not dead though. I knew that because the pain didn't stop. I could still hear the voices of the medics bringing in more casualties and fatalities... Some how I managed to keep still, even while in agony…I had to pretend to be dead. Some of those men were friends of mine …"

He stared off into the distance- lost in his story, but looked shocked when I touched his arm; I nodded at him to continue because my morbid curiosity got the better of me and I did not want him to stop talking.

"How did you know what happened to you?" he was whispering and I had to work hard to hear what he told me

"I didn't. I cannot explain to you how I felt back then. The burn in the back of my throat could only be soothed by drinking blood, I killed countless people to quench my ache in my body…." He grinned mischievously and a wicked glint entered his eye, gently he patted my hand

"I'll spare you the details of when I first tasted blood, considering you find that side of my nature repulsive."

I laughed dryly, unable to mask the sarcasm from my tone "Oh how kind of you!"

He chuckled, his eyes twinkling in the dim light of the beach hut, "Anyway…I was wild with the thirst. The burn was unbearable! I felt the same mentally, but something was different physically, my reflexes were sharper, I couldn't sleep and never felt tired. I was alone and I couldn't go back to my battalion because I was supposed to be dead."

This must have been difficult for him to relive his past, still wrapped in my duvet I removed my hand now toasty warm and placed it against his cheek. He held it in place with his own hand and exhaled intoxicating me with the scent of his breath. "Ahh, Lucie, you have no idea how your warmth is affecting me, I could stay like this with you forever… thank you, for listening."

"Anytime you need me, I hope you know that."

We sat in silence for the longest time. Outside the day continued, the seagulls still shrieked, the sea still ebbed and flowed, the wind still blew and people still passed the beach hut, oblivious to the fact that monsters existed.

Here in our little bubble, Patrick continued his story.

"Weeks later, I stowed away on a ship that was sailing back to England. I hid in the boughs and managed to remain undetected. It took a month to get home and back to my old life... When I got back, I knew I would never be able to go home so I wandered all over England searching for blood and ended up in Ireland where I met a female vampire named Siobhan and she introduced me to two others. Maggie and Liam, they told me what had happened to me and told me to keep our existence secret."

"Oh, did you stay with them for long?"

"Around twenty years. We travelled around Europe, England being Liam's favourite hunting ground. Siobhan, Maggie, and Liam taught me how to hunt successfully and how to avoid detection by the humans…."

"Anyway, I wanted to stay in England, where I was raised. I left Siobhan and her coven and decided to exist alone, she taught me how to stay inconspicuous, and how to exist in your world and then something happened to me that changed the way I fed, I tried animal blood and found that it helped as an alternative to feeding on humans."

For the second time today, Patrick proved to me that he was more that just human. That he was the vampire he claimed to be. Now I believed him, and now I knew what I had to do, I needed to find a way of tracking down others so he could live out the rest of his days with vampires.

"You said earlier that you were the only vampire in Great Britain that fed on animals, so does that mean there are others out there?"

"Possibly." Patrick stared into the distance,

"So aren't you tempted to go and search for them, because I know I would, if I was alone?"

"But I'm not alone now, I have you."

"I know you do, but am I enough, and I won't be around forever Patrick. You need to think about what you'll do when I'm not around to keep your secret, you need to find others your own kind. I could help you if you like, we could go searching together."

He laughed mocking me slightly,"Sweetheart, I don't think you'll find anything on vampires in a book or the interweb thingy you humans use. This is specialist."

"So what are we going to do then?" I asked becoming slightly irritated by his mocking tone. Patrick chuckled, and took my hand. To me, the gesture felt condescending

"_We_ are going to do nothing! You my sweet! Are far too vulnerable around other vampires and I will not put you at risk. _I_ however, will go searching for answers."

"Where will you go?"

"I don't know, but I have a feeling I may have to pay Siobhan another visit."

* * *

><p>After spending weekend after weekend trawling bookshops, charity shops and the Internet, I found nothing. I picked up any book and looked at any web page that looked as though it would give me information only to be disappointed. I should have stopped when the last site I browsed was one on witchcraft. I stayed up into the early hours of the morning reading about spells and the powers of crystal healing to ward off demons. This would have Patrick rolling on the floor with laughter, considering he was the very thing the website was trying to prevent.<p>

Patrick was right. There was no recorded information anywhere. I still had hope though. I could not give up, there had to be some answers out there, If Patrick existed then other vampires must too. I had not seen or heard from him in over two weeks. I tried to convince myself that I had not spent that fateful Sunday with a vampire, that Patrick was a perfectly normal human being…. With a perfect complexion, and a frozen touch that somehow left me feeling I had stepped away from a blazing fire. Beautiful golden eyes that astounded me rendering me speechless, and a voice that would melt the hardest of hearts…

Yeah right, who was I kidding, if he is human, then I'm the Queen of Sheba!

Stupidly I carried on and hoped Patrick would come up with the answers. I became tired and my fatigue began to affect my work. I could not sleep at night and when I did; my dreams were filled with images of Patrick. He haunted my waking hours too, while alone I would find myself drifting off into daydreams making basic errors with feeding and caring for the ponies. When I was with others, I would become lost and forget what I was doing, made more mistakes, and then become irritable with the stable attendants when they pointed out my blunders. Becky noticed my change in behaviour; she stopped making excuses for me and called me into the office to see if I were ok.

However, she was not asking as my best friend, she was asking as my boss and business partner. That was when I knew things were serious. I tried to convince her I was fine and I was doing too much. I could not tell her the truth about Patrick even if I wanted to. She knew me well enough to know when I was fobbing her off with excuses and insisted I take sick leave on full pay.

She told me I was becoming a liability and would soon make a fatal mistake if I did not make the stables my priority. This hurt coming from her because she knew the stable has always been my priority. I was the one who approached her and asked if she would go into business with me, and being at the stables and caring for animals helped me to get over Alex. I stormed out of the office. We have not spoken for almost ten days now. I knew she was right, I could not jeopardise our business over a man and stood down as deputy manager. In over twenty-five years of friendship this is the first time we have stopped speaking, I miss her more than I thought I would, I hope she'll forgive me.

Since stopping work at the stables, I had far too much time on my hands and the search was becoming a fixation. I needed to face facts, this was not healthy and I needed to get back to reality and go back to work. Going back to the stables was not an option and decided to go back to veterinary nursing. If I were at the vets, I would not have time to obsess over vampires and things that should not be real.

I asked my dad if I could cover reception duties at the surgery and nurse when he needed me. He agreed on the condition that I made peace with Becky and start seeing my friends again. A few days later, I rang Becky to apologise, we had a long conversation, we shouted, then cried, an eventually we laughed over how stupid we had been. I told her some of what was going on with Patrick, missing out the hugest detail about him not being human. She told me I was an idiot to allow a man to affect me like that and wished I would come back to work at the stables. Now we were speaking, things did not seem so bad.

On Friday afternoon, I was working at the vets with Aiden, Carly and Holly a trainee veterinary nurse. I was on a lunch break and had just put the phone down to Becky, arranging our plans for Becky's' 30th birthday weekend. We were dressing up in eighties costumes. I was just about to tell Holly and Carly about my Rainbow Bright costume when my phone began to ring again. Aiden stepped into the staff room, opened his mouth to ask me something, I held up my hand and told him to wait, Aiden pulled a face at me and spoke to Carly instead.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Lucie?" I recognised that voice; it has haunted my dreams for weeks.

I gasped in surprise, "Patrick, hi, how are you?" Aiden made kissing noises at me so I threw a ball of screwed up paper at him, he ducked and it landed in the bin, Holly clapped softly.

The phone line crackled when Patrick spoke, "I'm grand my angel… listen can you meet me, I have some information for you." His hushed tones and the crackly phone line, reminded me of a secret agent in a spy movie. I half expected him to say _' _The hawk flies at midnight,' or something equally cryptic.

I sighed, "Patrick I'm at work. I cannot leave; we have some important operations to do after lunch. You can meet me after work, come into town and tell me what ever you need to."

"I can't do that, because what I need to show you involves information about what I am…do you understand?"

I kept my voice down, understanding perfectly and wondering what he had found. "I finish at 7.30. Meet me in The Jolly Sailor at 8.00."

"Ok so."

Then as though the last few minutes had not happened, he asked, "Would you like to come over, we can spend the evening together if you like?"

I smiled, "Thanks Patrick, I'd like that."

I heard the smile in his voice and imagined the twinkle in his eye, "Ahh that's grand. Will you want feeding?"

I giggled, "Why are you offering to cook?"

He laughed, "Jaysus no, I won't be touching any of your kind of food, besides I don't have any animal flesh."

I laughed and felt my cheeks heat up, "That's a good job, considering I'm a vegetarian."

"Well that makes two of us then!"

"What on earth are you on about?" I grinned

Patrick laughed heartily. "Don't worry, I'll explain all later, so I will. See you at 8.00."

After lunch, Holly and Carly kept quizzing me about Patrick. Holly could not believe I was seeing him, Carly told me she was impressed and Aiden teased me, telling me of the dangers of falling for a stalker, and being the cocky so and so he is, tried to put me off by singing every breath you take by Sting. I laughed along for the first few times but he kept singing the same few lines of the song, "_Baby can't you see you belong to me…"_ while we were studying the ultra sound pictures of a cats' abdomen.

The day was a mixture of busy and quiet periods, we had two rabbits to neuter, an X-ray for a greyhound with a broken pelvis and the euthanasia of a decrepit old cat riddled with tumours. The highlight of the day was when my favourite client Mr Darcy bought his Rag Doll cat Queenie into the surgery.

Queenie was a pedigree cat and she had given birth to six kittens they were beautiful little bundles of tan and brown fluff at five weeks old, mewing and climbing over Queenie as she cared for her babies in the cat box. Holly sexed the kittens while I supervised and took care of Queenie. Mr Darcy gave us a box of freshly baked scones still warm from the oven, some home-made strawberry jam and clotted cream for our troubles, which the four of us ate while the surgery was quiet.

Full of scones we soldiered on, nick naming ourselves Team Awesome! Although, we had to have our wits about us for the next client the dreaded Mrs Faraday! She bought her Cavalier King Charles, Fluffy back for her postoperative check-up, Carly and I assisted Aiden through the consultation while Holly covered reception duties.

The consultation could not have been worse, Fluffy was an overweight and over pampered pooch, who had the worst smelling breath I had ever encountered. She yapped the entire time it was in the vets, so I had to shout over the din.

You know the saying that a dog is like their owner, well that was true with Mrs Faraday because she smelt just as bad as her stinking dog! I will never understand how Mrs Faraday claims to be an animal lover, poor Fluffys incision was so infected it was a miracle she was still alive, so no wonder Fluffy was so bad, she was in pain, and suffering.

I tried my hardest to remain professional throughout the consult, but this became difficult as time wore on. She told Carly and me we were incompetent when I failed to put a muzzle on Fluffy as she turned to snap my hand off, Carly was bitten and left the consult room in tears. Mrs Faraday tutted and continued muttering about staff ineptitude. She accused Aiden of messing up the operation when he tried to explain that the incision had not been kept clean and Fluffy had picked up an infection, and then swore loudly when he told her that Fluffy would have to be admitted again. After that, Aiden insisted she wait in reception; poor Holly!

Eventually, we got through the consult, thanks to a mild sedative, professionally administered by Aiden; we cleaned up the infected area, removed the stitches, covered the incision with a fresh dressing, and gave an antibiotic injection. I wished we could have given a sedative to Mrs Faraday to prevent the snide comments.

Aiden left me to settle the paperwork and organise Fluffys' in patients' details and went to see if Carly was ok. Luckily the bite was had not drawn blood and Carly was in shock. Mrs Faraday snatched the bill from me with a sour look on her face after I told her that Fluffy was overweight and that meant she was prone to diabetes and other health complications due to a poor diet. I suggested that we weigh Fluffy and try an alternative diet or enrol Fluffy in doggy weight watcher classes after Fluffy was well again

When I gave her a brochure and a sample of low-fat dog food, I thought she was going to bite me herself, "I don't need that muck! Fluffy is perfect!"

I hid the exasperation I felt and resisted the urge to leap across the desk, grab her by the collar of her scabby fleece jacket and shout it isn't for you, you ignorant old biffer! Some people do not deserve to have pets.

Moments after she left, I found the air freshener and sprayed an entire can all over the surgery in a desperate attempt to mask the odour of fried food, stale cigarettes and body odour. I cheered up Carly by chasing Aiden and spraying him with the air freshener, getting revenge for the stalker comments. That will teach him to mess with me, now he can do his last consult smelling of tropical island breeze!

* * *

><p>By the time we reached Patrick's' house, dusk was drawing in. We walked down a long driveway surrounded by trees a large overgrown rhododendron bush grew to the right of the house covering the window. We stood outside a Victorian townhouse with a double reception; it looked derelict. Carefully, I followed Patrick up the weed ridden garden path to the front door. Patrick retrieved his key from the pocket of his jeans, opened the door and stepped inside.<p>

The house smelt musty and there was a sweet aroma of damp wood and mildew growing up the walls. The entire house needed a good airing; the decades of dust piled up covering each surface - I sneezed!

"Bless you sweetheart. I'm sorry I could do with a woman's touch around here… I have no need to use all the rooms."

Patrick took my hand and led me through the front door, the floorboards creaking as we walked through the hallway. There were two doors, one leading to the left and one to the right, he lead me through the door on the left.

Time stood still in this room, which had not been decorated since pre 1930's. Paint flaked off the high ceilings the wallpaper hung by a thread to the walls and cobwebs hung on the coving, over the curtain rails, on the chairs and all surfaces in the room. Just how I imagined it look if I walked into Miss Havisham's bedroom with the relics of Patrick's' former life on display. On a side table, I noticed a newspaper; yellow with age, dated November 1942 the newspaper was folded with the half-hidden headline **Air Attack On…** I looked around this vast living space and on the mantelpiece, noticing the old mantel clock stood still and twenty to ten.

I looked at the photographs of Patrick in his Navy uniform, and another one of him standing by a young woman with fair hair in her late teens. The woman in the photo wore a wedding dress; these had to be Patrick on his wedding day. I had no idea he had married.

There were more, photographs of Patrick and his wife, dancing, him in full Navy uniform standing out side this house one on his own, standing in a boxing ring sweaty and exhausted with a black eye. In each photo of Patrick and his wife, they both looked so happy and so in love!

"You were married. I didn't know that?"

Patrick stood beside me and took my hand, his cold hand interlacing with mine. He asked me to sit on the sofa with him I followed and sat down, still looking around the room. I did not need to see his face to know how he felt; the sadness in his voice told me all I needed to know.

"This was Kitty, my wife; we were married four years before the war broke in 1939. They were the happiest four years of my human life…. Kitty is in my past, she was alive even before you were a twinkle in your mother's eye… So how could you know I was married? ….I'll say no more than that, if you don't mind."

I tried not to look at the photographs on the mantle piece. Was I wrong to feel slightly envious of the girl in the photograph, the one who knew Patrick before he became a vampire? These feelings made me uncomfortable, I tried to ignore the happy faces in the photographs, still I wondered, was I here because I looked like his dead wife. I wanted to find out why I was here.

"So what did you find then?"

Before he sat with me, he lit several large candles one on a side table, and one on the mantelpiece, illuminating the photograph of Patrick in his uniform and a last one on a large oak sideboard, the candles cast the room in a supernatural glow. Patrick glided silently over to the cabinet on the other side of the room moving ghost like and picked up a book. I noticed he had lost the sombre tone and joined me on the sofa,

"I went back to Ireland, searching for Siobhan and her coven, we caught up… Jaysus, I forgot what it was like to be around others. I forgot how much Maggie saw and how serious Liam was." he grinned and I couldn't help but smile too,

"Well what happened?"

"The moment they saw the gold of my eyes, Siobhan asked me if I had spent any time in America…. Siobhan always said I was a strange one, even as a new vampire, she could tell I would always stray…." Patrick stared off into the distance, lost in his own thoughts; gently I touched his arm to bring him back to the present. He grinned at me and continued speaking, "Where was I, that's it…she is friendly with a group of vampires in America who live like me…I couldn't believe it when she told me… of course Maggie knew I hadn't been out of Europe since we departed in the sixties… I had forgotten about her uncanny ability of knowing a lie_, _she also knows that you're involved with me and she gave me this…"

Patrick handed me the black fabric bound book, examining the cover I noticed there was no title and the book was heavier than I imagined. Carefully I opened it expecting to see a title or some sign of what I was about to read.

Instead, I found that the pages were hollowed out, and in their place was a tin box with a lock, Patrick handed me a small key and told me to turn the key and the lock clicked open and in the box was another book. This book was a paperback book titled;

_The complete guide for vampires- How to care for your human companion._

_By E.A.M C _

I opened the front cover of the book and saw a hand written note; the script was elegant and curly.

_Siobhan, Liam and Maggie_

_We thank you sincerely, for believing and having faith in our darkest hour. Without your certainty and sheer determination, we would not be here today. _

_I hope we will remain good friends._

_Yours faithfully_

_Edward._

There was a dedication too

_To my Bella and Renesme, plus que ma proper vie._

_To Carlisle, without you I would have never found the will._

_To my family, thank you for your patience and finally to Jacob, I thank you for many things but mainly for her, look after my dear one._

In my hands, I held more evidence that these creatures existed; the note in the front of the book was evidence of that. A wave of curiosity washed over me, what had happened to call for such a personal message? I skipped to the next page and read the introduction on why a vampire would want to have relations with a human, the obstacles of choosing a human as a partner.

"Patrick, how much did Siobhan tell you about her friends?"

"A fair bit, although, I'll spare you the details, It's not my story to tell."

"Why what happened?"

"They just got into a spot of bother with the vampire authority, that's all." I tutted and continued reading, trying to disguise the irritation I felt. When I wanted him to be honest with me he couldn't and when I would rather him save me his honesty, he turned me into a quivering wreck by talking about killing me, I couldn't win!

I sat in silence reading the first chapter and laughed aloud when I read about vampires who fed on animals described as vegetarians.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing, just the irony of you being a vegetarian, that's all. So is that what you meant earlier?"

He chuckled, " T'is Lucie, I thought you'd find that amusing."

"So what do we do now we have this?" I asked looking up from the book

"Try to carry on as normal; I'll have a better insight on how to look after you… I mean if this American vampire can do it then so can I... By the way, Siobhan, Liam and Maggie will be in touch once they have contacted the Cullens."

"Did they give you a time frame, I mean…they aren't going to turn up while I'm here are they?"

"I don't know sweetheart. It could be tonight or tomorrow or even a month's time. That all depends on Siobhan's friends in America."

"Patrick; can I borrow this to read, so I can understand you better?"

Patrick shook his head, "I'm afraid not, Lucie, I'm sorry. You see, I was given this under strict instructions not to let the book leave my sight. By all means read it but don't take it out of the house."

I nodded to show I understood and we sat quietly for a while, until my stomach growled with hunger, Patrick chuckled, "Sounds like feeding time at the zoo, I take it this means you're hungry?"

I tapped him on the arm, laughing, "Oi, you cheeky sod! I'm fine. Anyway, how are you going to feed me when you don't eat?"

He laughed heartily, "Oh, ye have little faith my lovely. Little did you know that I went to the supermarket today and bought all the major food groups in preparation for your visit, I have an allotment fit to bursting with fruit and vegetables in my garden and I even make my own cider, so there!"

I laughed, as a vision of Patrick with a shopping trolley darting around our local Sainsburys, looking squeamish while he picked up the groceries. With mock sarcasm rich in my tone I said, "Ohh what a clever vampire you are… so what do you want a medal?" I patted him on the head

Again, Patrick chuckled, and gently scooped me onto his lap "Nope, I have plenty of those and scouts badges too…"

We fell into a contented silence, the sputtering of the candles being the only sound in the room. The flickering candle light bounced off Patrick face, casting him in an angelic glow and I wanted to kiss him so badly.

What would happen if I did, would he want me to, I wanted to feel his lips against mine and gazing into his eyes, I moved in closer, my lips brushing his, my heart thudding in my chest my breath ragged.

I felt Patrick's entire body stiffen beneath me, he had stopped breathing completely, gently he lifted me off his lap and slowly stood, "I'm sorry Lucie, we can't do that yet, I need to be ready…come with me, let's find you something to eat"


End file.
